Ain't No Sunshine
by chHriiisx3
Summary: Meredith Grey thought she had everything she ever needed in life untill she met Addison Montgomery Shepard. She leaves Seattle to try and start over but it isn't long before she is drawn back to the place and the life that she left behind! EPILOGUE IS UP!
1. Chapter 1: Where Did I Go Wrong?

**This is my second Meredith and Derek fan fiction story, my other one is very "bright and shiny" and I wanted to try something different. The entire first chapter is a flashback because the rest is set farther in the future. The chapter one flashback is what happened the night after Derek chose Addison and then chapter two will pick up five months later. Italics in the story will be flashbacks or song lyrics because I have chosen to name each chapter after a song, or lyrics of a song. **

Chapter One: Where Did I Go Wrong?

_She pulled the car into the driveway and walked into the house. Everything felt different when she walked in. She went upstairs and into her bedroom. She ripped the sheets off the bed and threw them in the hall. She could barely look at that bed without crying again. The bed she once shared with the man she thought she would spend the rest of her life with. She walked around the room and found a bag that was full of his things. She placed it on the bed and opened it. All that it held were clothes and toiletries of his. She was fine, until she pulled out one shirt, a shirt that she knew too well. She tried to fight back the tears but it was too hard, they poured down her face like a Seattle rainstorm. She put the shirt close to her face, it smelt like him. The red material felt like his soft hair, she couldn't breathe, she couldn't think. Her mind was infected with images of him, with the words that he once said. The words she once said. "How stupid could I be?" she thought to herself. "What kind of pathetic woman begs a man to want her" Then, for a brief moment, her mind was cleared of him, and she had an idea. She took out a suitcase and started to pack up her things. The suitcase contained mostly her clothing; she didn't want to take anything else. She would leave the house, the furniture, everything for her roommates. She didn't want her problems to affect them. She wound up throwing in his red shirt, she didn't know why but she did. She called an airline and booked a ticket. She had one more hour left in this house before she would leave Seattle forever. She took out paper and a pen and began writing letters. First one to George and Izzie, then one to Cristina, then one to her mother, one to her Chief of surgery explaining why she had to leave, to drop out. The last one was the hardest; she took the pen to the paper and slowly wrote his name, D-e-r… then the tears came down once again. She managed to keep going, she wrote his letter, tears pouring down her face. When she was done she lifted it up to read it. _

Derek,

I don't even really know why I think you are important enough to get a letter from me, but for some reason I think you still care enough to know. I am leaving Seattle. Only one person knows where I am going and I won't tell you who, because I don't want you to come looking for me, or trying to call me, because you had a choice to make, and your decision has left me feeling broken and empty inside. Please try and understand that I can't be here. I can't see you every day with her. I can't be here, not anymore. I am sorry, but this is just something that I have to do, just like choosing her was something you had to do. I hope she makes you happy, and you feel as though you have made the right choice, because I am not coming back. As hard as it is to think I am never going to see you again, it is harder for me to see you with her, because I love you. Goodbye Derek.

Meredith.

_She was as satisfied as she was going to be with it. She left the letters sitting on her bare bed, rolled her suitcase down the stairs, got in her car and drove away. Leaving the city, her job, her family, and her broken life behind forever, or that was what she thought. _

_Where did I go wrong? _

_I lost a friend _

_Somewhere along in the bitterness_

_And I would have stayed up with you all night _

_Had I known _

_How to save a life _


	2. Chapter 2:The Girl with the Broken Smile

Chapter Two: The Girl with the Broken Smile

Meredith was arriving home from a long day at work. She opened the door to the only house she had ever really known as a "home." She and Ellis and many different nannies shared this 5 bedroom, 4 baths, 2 acre property in Boston for 20 years. She went upstairs into her bedroom lay on her bed and rubbed her belly. She had been feeling very sick the past few days. Actually she has been feeling sick since she left Seattle. She missed Derek terribly. Just then, her cell phone went off. When she looked at the caller ID it read 'Incoming Call: Derek." She let the machine get it.

'Hi you've reached Meredith Grey, sorry I am not here to take your call, leave your name and number and I will get back to you soon bye" There was a loud tone then Meredith noticed Derek wasn't saying anything, then he finally spoke. "Meredith, please tell me where you are, I miss you so much. I miss talking to you. I miss you beautiful blue eyes and your soft blonde hair. I need you Meredith, please try and understand that. Please tell me where you are. The other day I was thinking about when you talked to me in the scrub room, and you told me you loved me, and I realized that I love you too"

Her eyes grew wide listening to this message. He had been leaving constant messages lately but nothing like that.

"I do love you, and I want to make my marriage work too, but I don't know what to do anymore. Meredith I am lost without you. Please come home, goodbye"

Tears poured out of Meredith's eyes. She ran downstairs grabbed a bottle of tequila out of the fridge and went back upstairs. She watched television and listened to Derek's messages while she drank the whole bottle, until she passed out.

The next morning she woke up 20 minutes late, running to the bathroom to throw up. Drinking a whole bottle of tequila was a bad idea. She looked at her face in the mirror and it made her vomit more. She looked dead. She looked like someone had come to her that night and ripped all the life out of her. Her blue eyes had no sparkle in them, they were gray now, hollow and lifeless and they had big black bags under them. Her skin was paler than ever and her hair looked darker. She picked up her cell phone and called the hospital she now worked at. Letting her resident know she was sick and was going to be late, which wasn't a problem. Working at Boston General was different than Seattle Grace. Everyone there worshiped the ground she walked on. Ellis Grey's world renowned daughter at the place where Ellis became the famous surgeon she is.

An hour later she stopped vomiting and got her self together so she could go to work.

_I don't mind spending everyday  
Out on your corner in the pouring rain  
Look for the girl with the broken smile  
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile  
And she will be loved  
She will be loved_


	3. Chapter 3: No Guarantees

Chapter Three: No Guarantees

**Okay I just wanted to say that everything that happened in season two to all the other characters still happened, it's just that Meredith left Seattle. Some elements are going to be the same, and some will be different so just stay with me and ask questions if you don't get some of the stuff. **

Meredith had the worst day possible at work. Derek left her four more messages that day, each one made her break down in tears. When her phone rang the fifth time that day she didn't even want to check the caller ID, but she still did. It was the nursing home her mother was in. She flipped open her phone.

Meredith- Dr. Grey

Nurse- Meredith, we need to speak with you about your mother

Meredith- Is everything all right?

Nurse- No Meredith, she has just had a major heart attack she needs surgery and it can't be done without you in Seattle to consent for it

Meredith- I'm sorry what

Nurse- You need to get back to Seattle Meredith

Meredith- I can't come back to Seattle. Can't I just verbally consent the surgery?

Nurse- They need a signature Meredith

Meredith- Who is her surgeon?

Nurse- Dr. Preston Burke

Meredith- She was transported to Seattle Grace?

Nurse- Yes because we thought you would want Dr. Burke to treat her.

Meredith- Right, I will see what I can do

Nurse- Okay Meredith, but I was told she doesn't have too much time

Meredith- Good-bye

Meredith flipped her phone shut. She stopped dead in her tracks. She had no idea what to do. How was this happening? She did the first thing she could think of. She flipped the phone open again and hit speed dial 3.

Cristina- Dr. Yang

Meredith- Hey it's me

Cristina- Where the hell are you! Your mom had a heart attack Meredith

Meredith- I know, the nursing home called, how is she?

Cristina- It doesn't look good Meredith and we need your consent to operate.

Meredith- I know, it's just I don't think I can come back to Seattle.

Cristina- Meredith, Shepard is a mess right now. He is just as miserable as you are please just come home so your Mom doesn't die. Put aside your personal issues for the sake of your mother

Meredith- I am going to the airport right now

Cristina- Thanks Meredith, I will let Burke know

Meredith- Okay Cristina

Meredith hung up, got in her car and drove to the airport.

_There are no guarantees in life_

_Not for the present _

_Nor for the future _

_All I know is that I am here _

_Don't know for how long _


	4. Chapter 4: Tonight I Wanna Cry

Chapter Four: Tonight I Wanna Cry

**This chapter is a Derek flashback to the night he gets Meredith's letter. Sorry I am postponing Meredith's return to Seattle Grace but I had to do this before she got there. ENJOY! (You may need some tissues for this one) **

_He lay on the hammock holding a bottle of Miller Lite. Reading her letter, trying to make sense of it all. His head was filled with memories of her, the way she moved, the way she talked, the way she kissed, the smell of her soft blonde hair. It was like a fatal disease. He constantly re-read the last sentence "_it is harder for me to see you with her, because I love you. Goodbye Derek." _That was the second time she had mentioned those three simple words. "I love you" the thing that was so horrible was that he loved her too. He loved her and he let her slip away. He didn't love Addison. He had never loved Addison. Well maybe he did, one day too many years ago. He never looked at her the way he saw Meredith, he never kissed her, never talked to her, he didn't love her, not liked he loves Meredith. The tears poured down his face and burned his cheeks as they ran down. "How could I be so stupid? I let the love of my life get away. What kind of terrible man does something like that?" The questions now surrounded his memories of her. How could he have believed she would have never found out about Addison? He wanted to tell her he did, but how would she have taken it? Would they have broken up anyways? The questions, the regrets, the pain it filled his mind. He didn't even know where she was. She could have been wandering the streets alone for all he knew. He wanted to hold her so bad. To protect her, God how much he missed her. He just wished she would come home to him. He would leave Addison if she would come back. Send her back to New York where she belonged. He didn't want to be with her, he didn't even want to look at her. When he saw her all he could think of was that night in New York. That fateful night when he walked through the doors of their Central Park Brownstone home and he knew something was wrong. When he walked up the stairs and opened his bedroom door to find his wife and his best friend in bed together. No, not his best friend, his brother, Marc Sloane was Derek's brother. Of all people for Addison to turn to she chose his brother. Meredith would never have done something like that to Derek. She is an amazing woman. Broken, damaged just like him, but nevertheless amazing and wonderful. She saved him. When he thought he had reached a point in his life where there was no hope, nothing for him to hold onto she walked in and saved him. He thought back to the night he met her at Joe's and the night Dr. Bailey caught them in the act in the passenger seat of his car. The memories only made the tears worse, and his bottle was empty. He walked into his trailer and opened the fridge. He looked in and saw a bottle that Meredith must have left there. He knew she had a thing for tequila the night he met her. He took the bottle out of the fridge and took a sip from it. The tip of the bottle tasted like her sweet pink lips. God how much he missed them. He took the bottle back out to the hammock and continued to watch the rainstorm, crying thinking about her. He called her cell at least a dozen times but every time he got her voicemail. _"Hi you've reached Meredith Grey, leave a message after the tone." _The sound of her voice made him feel closer to her, even though she could have been half way across the world right now. He just wished she would come back. He needed her to come back to him. _

_I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show _

_I thought that being strong meant never losing your self control _

_But I'm just drunk enough _

_To let go of my pain _

_To hell with my pride _

_Let it fall like rain from my eyes_

_Tonight I wanna cry _

Come on people, make an author happy and review!!!!!!!! If I get some then i will post updates more often because I am on chapter 10 on another site :)


	5. Chapter 5: Tragedy

Chapter Five: Tragedy

Meredith pulled her car into a parking spot and looked up at the large building that stood in front of her. Seattle Grace Hospital, she pulled down the mirror in her car and looked into it. She took of her sunglasses and saw red puffy eyes. "How am I going to hide these?" she thought. She tried to cover them but gave up. She would just leave the stupid sunglasses on. She got out of the car and shut the door. Slowly she headed towards the building looking down, praying that no one would recognize her. She walked through the doors and waited until there was an empty elevator. She got on and went up to the third floor. The CCU was on the third floor so Meredith assumed her mother was there too. The doors opened to reveal a familiar face.

"Your back,"

Izzie Stevens yelled at her. She hugged her and pulled her out of the elevator. "God Mer, what is with the sunglasses? Is it to bright in here for you?"

Meredith pulled down the glasses to reveal her puffy red eyes, but when Izzie looked into them she didn't see a person who had been crying. She saw a person who was completely broken. The blue had faded to grey and there were dark black bags. She eyed Meredith up and down and noticed she had dropped some weight too. Despite all the horror it looked like the woman had gone through, despite the fact that it looked like she had lost all the life inside of her, she still was still so beautiful.

"Meredith…"

She finally responded,

"Where is my mother?"

Izzie pointed towards the CCU

"Bed four,"

Meredith looked to where Izzie pointed.

"Don't worry he isn't on the floor."

Meredith let out a small sigh of relief,

"Thanks Izzie" She walked away and headed towards her mother's bed.

She was sleeping when Meredith walked in. She just sat by the bed and looked at her mom, tubes and wires coming out of her everywhere. Then she heard a familiar voice from behind her.

"Welcome back Dr. Grey" Preston Burke uttered.

Meredith turned around to see him standing there holding a clipboard.

"I am not back I am just here to sign the papers"

Burke nodded and handed her the clipboard. She looked over it then signed the bottom, and handed it back to him.

"When is her surgery?" she asked.

"I will get to her this afternoon" he responded. "Will you be waiting here?"

"I guess I don't have a choice"

"She should be just fine Meredith, it is a standard procedure."

"It is not her I am too worried about"

Burke nodded and left Meredith alone with her mother. She was sedated because they had to intubate her. Meredith just started for a while until she reached to the bed and held her mother's hand. She tired too hard to fight back tears as they burned in the back of her throat. She decided that she couldn't just sit there. She got up but first whispered into her mother's ear.

"Please try not to die mommy"

Then she left and walked back towards the elevator but turned around and started to run when she saw that red haired woman

"Dr. Grey" Addison spoke.

Meredith stopped in her tracks "Crap" she thought

"Dr. Montgomery- Shepard"

She turned around and looked at the beautiful woman. It just wasn't fair, she cheats on her perfect husband with his best friend, his BEST FRIEND FOR GOD SAKES and she still gets him back. How is that fair?

"Are you here to see your mother?"

"Just had to consent her surgery, once she is out of the OR I am leaving again"

"Well I hope all goes well for her"

"Thank You" Addison started to walk away before Meredith spoke again, "Is your husband working today?" Calling Derek her husband made Meredith cringe inside.

"Yes he is, and he knows you are here, so he is looking for you"

"Thank you Dr. Shepard"

"Have a good day Meredith"

Addison instantly changed where she was going. She headed straight to Derek's office, while Meredith went down to the interns locker room hoping to find the one person she wanted to see.

_Drink up, baby down  
Are you in or are you out  
Leave your things behind  
'Cause it's all going off without you  
Excuse me, too busy you're writing your tragedy_

_These mishaps  
You bubble wrap  
When you've no idea what you're like_


	6. Chapter 6: Still Harder

Chapter Six: Still Harder

**Authors Note: It was so difficult to find lyrics for this chapter and I think I have captured it right. I am sorry the chapters are so short but I have a theme for each one and if I put more than what I am putting in I feel like the theme will get lost somewhere. Oh and I don't own ANY of the lyrics that I posted, just wanted to clear that up. **

She walked into the locker room and found the person she was looking for. When Cristina Yang looked at her person she could barely recognize her. The girl who walked these halls five months ago was so happy, she had everything she needed and now she was broken.

"Oh Mer" she said as she walked up to her and hugged her. The hug confused the hell out of Meredith.

"You're hugging me"

"I know" She let go, "Are you okay?"

Meredith stopped to think.

"Of course I am not okay" The tears fell from her beautiful eyes that were hollow now.

"Look I am taking you up to the gallery for your mom's surgery. That way you can hide from you know who." She wasn't sure if mentioning the name Derek Shepard was a good idea.

"Thanks Cristina, this is why you are my person"

"I know Meredith"

They left the locker room and went to hide in the gallery where Ellis Grey's surgery was just beginning.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Derek she is here"

"Who is here?"

"Meredith, the woman who you have been talking about the last five months, Derek she is back"

His heart stopped.

"To see her mother?"

"Yes Derek."

The way Derek reacted to knowing Meredith had returned broke Addison. He loved Meredith. He wasn't in love with his wife, he was in love with the woman he left to repair their marriage"

"Look Derek, we need to talk"

"About what Addie?"

"Meredith"

"Why do we need to talk about Meredith, I took you back Addison!"

"But you don't want me Derek, you want her"

"She will never take me back now, I have left her at least one hundred messages and she hasn't responded she doesn't want me anymore so can we please try and make this marriage work"

"I don't see it ever working again Derek I am sorry"

"You want a divorce?"

"I… I think I do, I am sorry Derek"

He understood, he really did understand why she didn't want to be with him. It had been five months and he cried almost everyday. He wanted Meredith, she was right. What Derek didn't know was that someone from his past had in fact returned and was planning on taking Addison back to New York.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Four hours had passed in Ellis's surgery when it happened. Dr. Burke took her off bypass, and the monitor stayed flat line. Meredith sat on the edge of her seat as she watched him frantically trying everything to try and get her heart beating, but nothing would work. Tears filled Meredith's eyes but she fought them back as best as she could.

"Meredith you shouldn't be here, you shouldn't have to watch this"

Cristina frantically tried to get Meredith out of the gallery as her mother was dying in the OR down below, and then of course to Meredith's luck a familiar face stood in the doorway. She looked at him and froze, literally froze. She couldn't speak, she couldn't think, she couldn't talk, she looked frozen. When Derek realized that Ellis was dying on the table he looked back at her.

"Meredith you shouldn't be here"

He placed his hand on her forearm and she looked up at him.

"Do not touch me" she snapped.

He quickly removed his hand from her arm. While down in the OR Burke spoke those words that Meredith really didn't want to hear.

"Time of Death 4:17"  
"Let's go Cristina" she grabbed Cristina's arm and pulled her out of the gallery and back down to the locker room. Almost like a robot, no one knew what Meredith would do next, and more importantly neither did she. What had just happened?

_It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go  
But I'm doin' It  
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone  
Still Harder  
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret  
But I know if I could do it over  
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart  
That I left unspoken_

**I really hope I captured this chapter right. I want Ellis's sudden death and losing Derek and all of it to be a total blur to Meredith right now. Keep commenting/reviewing! **


	7. Chapter 7: The Heart That Really Matters

Chapter Seven: The Heart that Really Matters

Meredith spent the next two days in complete denial. She sat on her bed starting at the ceiling getting up only to use the bathroom and to get tequila from the fridge, she wouldn't even eat. On the morning of March 1st (Ellis's funeral) Izzie came in her bedroom.

"Mer?"

Meredith looked at her bedroom door to find her beautiful blonde friend wearing a black dress.

"Come in" she said.

"Meredith, come on you have to get out of this bed, you have to get ready"

"I am not going"

"Meredith she is your mother, you are going to want to be there"

"I don't want to see them lower her into the ground okay. I am not going"

Meredith got up to get another bottle of tequila. She moved them from the fridge to the back of her closet, and she was down to the last one. She sat back on the bed drinking the liquor. Izzie got up and went back downstairs.

"Well is she getting dressed" Cristina asked Izzie.

"She says she isn't going"

"That's it I am going up there"

But Izzie grabbed Cristina's arm.

"Don't go, give her time"

"We don't have time; the funeral starts in an hour!"

Then the doorbell rang. They looked through the glass door to find Derek Shepard standing there in a black suit. Izzie opened only the glass door but not the screen.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"George called me; he says she won't get ready"

"Oh and you think of all people she will listen to you!"

"She might"

George walked to the door, "She will, she will listen to him"

Izzie glared at the two of them, "I swear to God if you make it any worse Cristina and I will kill you and make it look like an accident"

"I will kill myself for you if I make it worse okay?"

"She is in her room"

Derek walked up the stairs and went into Meredith's bedroom to find no one there. He looked on the bed and saw one empty bottle of tequila and one half empty bottle. "Bathroom" he thought. He opened to door to her bathroom and indeed found her with her head in the toilet bowl. He sat down on the floor beside her and held her hair back with one hand then rubbed her back with another. She didn't push him off, she didn't yell, she just let him. Once she stopped vomiting he handed her a glass with water and waited for her to finish drinking it. They just stared into each other's eyes. After about five minutes she buried her head in his chest and started to bawl her eyes out.

"Shhhhh" he said rubbing her back

"My mother is dead Derek" she replied.

"I know she is" he said, not letting go of her. "Meredith you need to put on your dress, you need to go to this funeral to say goodbye to her"

As hard as it was to admit it he was right. He slowly stood up hoping she would follow and she did. He took her into the bedroom and helped her put on her dress and her shoes. As they were walking out of the bedroom she grabbed the last bottle of tequila.

"Meredith put it back"

"I am already drunk enough, what difference will it make"

"Meredith you are going to want to remember today, please just put the bottle down."

She wasn't happy but she put the bottle down on her dresser and he helped her down the stairs. When they made it down everyone was waiting for them. Izzie and Cristina were shocked that he got her to put on the dress and come down the stairs.

"We are ready to go" he said.

"Okay the limo is in the driveway waiting for us" Izzie said looking at Meredith

"I am ready" she said with a sigh.

Derek helped her walk out to the car then helped her into the limo. Derek, Meredith, Cristina and Izzie all rode in the limo while George and Alex took a car. Halfway through the limo ride Meredith started to speak.

"Where is your wife?"

"Meredith let's just worry about you today"

"No where is she, go see her, you don't have to spend the day with your stupid drunken mistress"

"Yes I do Meredith"

She started to cry hysterically.

"No go be with her please Derek just leave me alone"

Derek sighed; he didn't want to do this now.

"Meredith she isn't my wife anymore"

_let it slide,  
let your troubles fall behind you  
let it shine   
until __you feel it all around you  
and I don't mind  
if it's me you need to turn to  
we'll get by,  
it's the heart that really matters in the end_

Chapter Seven: The Heart that Really Matters

Meredith spent the next two days in complete denial. She sat on her bed starting at the ceiling getting up only to use the bathroom and to get tequila from the fridge, she wouldn't even eat. On the morning of March 1st (Ellis's funeral) Izzie came in her bedroom.

"Mer?"

Meredith looked at her bedroom door to find her beautiful blonde friend wearing a black dress.

"Come in" she said.

"Meredith, come on you have to get out of this bed, you have to get ready"

"I am not going"

"Meredith she is your mother, you are going to want to be there"

"I don't want to see them lower her into the ground okay. I am not going"

Meredith got up to get another bottle of tequila. She moved them from the fridge to the back of her closet, and she was down to the last one. She sat back on the bed drinking the liquor. Izzie got up and went back downstairs.

"Well is she getting dressed" Cristina asked Izzie.

"She says she isn't going"

"That's it I am going up there"

But Izzie grabbed Cristina's arm.

"Don't go, give her time"

"We don't have time; the funeral starts in an hour!"

Then the doorbell rang. They looked through the glass door to find Derek Shepard standing there in a black suit. Izzie opened only the glass door but not the screen.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"George called me; he says she won't get ready"

"Oh and you think of all people she will listen to you!"

"She might"

George walked to the door, "She will, she will listen to him"

Izzie glared at the two of them, "I swear to God if you make it any worse Cristina and I will kill you and make it look like an accident"

"I will kill myself for you if I make it worse okay?"

"She is in her room"

Derek walked up the stairs and went into Meredith's bedroom to find no one there. He looked on the bed and saw one empty bottle of tequila and one half empty bottle. "Bathroom" he thought. He opened to door to her bathroom and indeed found her with her head in the toilet bowl. He sat down on the floor beside her and held her hair back with one hand then rubbed her back with another. She didn't push him off, she didn't yell, she just let him. Once she stopped vomiting he handed her a glass with water and waited for her to finish drinking it. They just stared into each other's eyes. After about five minutes she buried her head in his chest and started to bawl her eyes out.

"Shhhhh" he said rubbing her back

"My mother is dead Derek" she replied.

"I know she is" he said, not letting go of her. "Meredith you need to put on your dress, you need to go to this funeral to say goodbye to her"

As hard as it was to admit it he was right. He slowly stood up hoping she would follow and she did. He took her into the bedroom and helped her put on her dress and her shoes. As they were walking out of the bedroom she grabbed the last bottle of tequila.

"Meredith put it back"

"I am already drunk enough, what difference will it make"

"Meredith you are going to want to remember today, please just put the bottle down."

She wasn't happy but she put the bottle down on her dresser and he helped her down the stairs. When they made it down everyone was waiting for them. Izzie and Cristina were shocked that he got her to put on the dress and come down the stairs.

"We are ready to go" he said.

"Okay the limo is in the driveway waiting for us" Izzie said looking at Meredith

"I am ready" she said with a sigh.

Derek helped her walk out to the car then helped her into the limo. Derek, Meredith, Cristina and Izzie all rode in the limo while George and Alex took a car. Halfway through the limo ride Meredith started to speak.

"Where is your wife?"

"Meredith let's just worry about you today"

"No where is she, go see her, you don't have to spend the day with your stupid drunken mistress"

"Yes I do Meredith"

She started to cry hysterically.

"No go be with her please Derek just leave me alone"

Derek sighed; he didn't want to do this now.

"Meredith she isn't my wife anymore"

_let it slide,  
let your troubles fall behind you  
let it shine   
until __you feel it all around you  
and I don't mind  
if it's me you need to turn to  
we'll get by,  
it's the heart that really matters in the end_


	8. Chapter 8: I'm Just Falling to Pieces

Chapter 8: I'm Just Falling to Pieces

Unfortunately after the funeral they had to go to an honorary dinner for Ellis. Some members of the medical board and all the associations she was part of had organized it. Her friends took turns walking around with her so she wouldn't so or say anything to embarrass herself anymore than she already had, showing up insanely drunk to her mother's funeral. The worst part was that they were serving alcohol at the party and Meredith kept drinking. When Derek was on Meredith duty she was talking to the chief and the chairman of the board. The two men talked about her mother in the past tense and she didn't like it. "Your mother was an extraordinary woman Meredith, she did great things Meredith, you should hope you turn out like her Meredith" Did any of them not notice Ellis made her life freakin' miserable! She could feel her body starting to sober up when a waiter walked by holing a tray of wine.

"Can I just have the whole tray?" She begged the man.

"Um no, but you can have one glass"

"Fine" she replied, "But come back with some tequila next time, and not just a shooter a whole damn bottle!" she yelled at the man.

Derek knew it was the liquor talking so he took the wine from her hand.

"Hey give that back!" she begged him

"Meredith you have had way too much, I can't let you keep doing this"

"Give it back!" she said, almost yelling at him now.

"Meredith…" She didn't let him finish

"Give me the glass NOW DEREK!" she was making a scene now so he just gave it to her, but it slipped out of her drunken hands and shattered on the floor. Everyone stopped and started at her. The whispering started again and Meredith walked off to the kitchen. She needed tequila, now. Derek tried to follow her but he recognized a familiar face, one that he never wanted to see again in his life with Addison in the hall. He found Cristina and told her she was on Meredith watch and he ran into the hall.

"What the hell is he doing here?"

_Driving away from the wreck of the day _

_And I'm thinking 'bout calling on Jesus_

'_Cause love doesn't hurt so I know_

_I'm not falling in love_

_I'm just falling to pieces_


	9. Chapter 9: She's So High

Chapter Nine: She's So High

"Why do you think I am here?"

"Just go back to New York Marc"

"I will, once you finalize your stupid divorce and I can take Addison with me"

"Wait did you call him?"

"No Derek, he found out about the divorce and came out here"

Derek had a hard time believing it but he dropped it for now.

"How is Meredith doing?"

"Since when do you care about Meredith Addie?"

"I just asked how she was doing"

"Well the answer is not good"

For some reason Addison felt pain for Meredith. She was a good person and she didn't deserve this.

'Does she know we are getting divorced?"

"I told her but she is too drunk to process anything right now"

"How much has she had?"

Derek tired to think how much she had drunk. He had no clue.

"Well almost two bottles of tequila early this morning, then she had a bottle hidden in her purse that no one knew about, she kept leaving to drink it and she finished that a few hours ago, and now she is screaming at waiters asking for drinks"

"Poor girl" Addison said, "She didn't deserve this"

"Tell me about it" Marc uttered.

"Stay out of this Marc!" Derek practically screamed.

Just then Meredith came walking into the hall, looking like she was going to fall at every step. When Derek noticed her he picked her up and sat her down on a couch.

"Take my shoes off please; I can't walk in them anymore"

"Meredith you can't walk at all anymore"

"Shut up I didn't drink that much" She took her eyes off Derek and looked over at Marc

"Who is that?" she said pointing at Marc. He came over and shook her hand.

"Dr. Marc Sloane, New York. I am so sorry about your mother Dr. Grey"

"I'm sorry about her too" she paused "wait you're the guy Derek caught Addison in bed with!"

"Meredith that was kind of rude" Derek said.

"So what, I am drunk! What are you doing here Marc?"

"Well I am here to take Addison home."

"But she is married to my McDreamy" God she is embarrassing herself Derek thought.

'No sweetie, remember Addison and I are getting divorced."

"No you just said you were going to sign the papers and you didn't and you stayed with Satan and I left and went to Boston and my mom got sick and died so I am here again"

Derek's eyes grew huge; she had said where she was.

"Are you going back to Boston?"

"Yes" she said and then she put her hands over his ears, "But you aren't supposed to know that" she giggled.

Derek went along and smiled at her. "Okay, then I will pretend I didn't hear you then"

The dinner was finishing up pretty fast and by around 9 o'clock Derek could tell Meredith was going to pass out any minute now, so he helped her out to the car and drove her home, but she had passed out in his passenger seat. "Damn tequila" he thought. He had to pick her up and carry her to the house. Of course the front door was locked so he searched her purse for a key but didn't find one. Then he put her down on the swing while he lifted the welcome mat and then lifted the loose interlock stone to reveal the spare key. He unlocked the door and picked her up again. While they were walking up the stairs she was waking up. He put her on the bed and she woke up.

"Where am I?"

"Your home Mer, now come on let's get you into some pajamas and then you can sleep."

He lifted her up enough to take off the top of her dress then he pulled it off her body.

"Hey why are you taking my clothes off, I don't want to have sex with you"

Derek couldn't help but laugh, "Your not going to I just need to change your clothes."

He finally got her changed and she passed out again. He decided he would sleep on the rocking chair that night. She was going to need someone to hold her hair back the next morning and give her some water and some aspirins.

He spent most of the night awake watching her sleep like an angel. But the second she opened her eyes she stopped looking like an angel.

"Oh God!" she bellowed as she put her hand on her head.

"Do we want to make a trip to the toilet bowl first or do the water and aspirins?" he replied. She threw her hand over her mouth and he picked her up and ran her to the bathroom. She threw up constantly for almost 30 minutes.

"Are we ready for aspirin and water?"

Meredith nodded her head as he handed it to her.

"Coffee too please"

He kissed her forehead and went downstairs to make coffee for her. When he came back up with the coffee she was vomiting again.

"I am never going to drink again! Why did you let me have so much?"

"You are a violent drunk when you are upset Meredith"

"Oh I am sorry if I did anything that upset you"

'Oh no, you did nothing wrong"

"Okay"

She started drinking her coffee and took her pills.

"I'll be okay"

Derek nodded his head and smiled at her, he wanted to bring up her going back to Boston but he thought it may upset her. He knew she was staying in Seattle at least another week so he had that much time to convince her to stay.

_'Cause she's so high...  
High above me, she's so lovely  
She's so high...  
Like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, or Aphrodite  
She's so high...  
High above me_


	10. Chapter 10: Let The Darkness Fade Away

Chapter Ten: Let the Darkness Fade Away

Derek was paged for an emergency at the hospital but Meredith said she would be fine. She said she would go drop in and see how Joe was, but she promised him she wasn't going to drink anything. Before she left to go to Joe's her doorbell rang. She looked out the glass door to see a face she hadn't seen in so many years. She opened the door, "Thatcher?" she asked.

"Yes it is me Meredith"

"What are you doing here?"

"I heard about your mother and I wanted to see if you were alright"

"I am fine, I am actually on my way out so if you don't mind"

"Is there anything I can do for you? I know this must be such a confusing time"

Meredith stopped in her tracks, "No there is absolutely nothing you can do for me, unless you have a time machine that can rewind the past 20 years of my life and try harder to make your marriage with my mom work."

She locked her door and stormed passed him and then drove away.

"Hey Meredith" Joe said as she walked in, "How are you holding up?"

"I am okay, I'm okay"

"What can I get you tonight?"

"Just a beer" She told Derek she wouldn't drink but it wasn't like her was her boyfriend or anything. She sat down at the bar and started to drink her beer when a man came and leaned in beside her.

"Is this seat taken?"

She looked up at him "I guess not"

"Double scotch, single malt please" Marc Sloane said

"Why aren't you with Addison?"

"Got in a fight about going back to New York, she wants to stay here because she likes working at Seattle Grace"

"Then why don't you stay?"

"I can't move here"

"Yes you can" She was going to try and seem not interested but he pulled her in.

"Meredith, you look sad"

"Well my mother was buried yesterday and today I saw my father for the first time in 20 years, I think I have the right."

He placed his hand on her thigh, "Oh I am so sorry Meredith"

"Are you hitting on me?"

"Would that be so wrong?"

"I guess not"

They continued flirting, and ordering drinks soon enough they were both a little tipsy and the flirting wasn't so innocent anymore.

"So do you want to maybe come to my hotel room Meredith?"

"Won't that just make everything more complicated Marc?"

"But your going back to Boston soon aren't you?"

"How did you know I was in Boston?"

"You may have mentioned it when you were drunk yesterday at your mom's dinner"

"Oh crap, well I was thinking of coming back to Seattle, I miss my friends."

"Then stay here Meredith. Then I will move out here too, we can start over together"

Meredith had enough alcohol in her system to want what Marc was offering her.

"Under one condition" she told him.

"Anything" he responded.

"We keep this to ourselves"

"I can do that"

He leaned in and kissed her lips ever so softly. He kissed a lot like Derek. She was starting something with Derek's long lost twin, but right now she didn't care. They both had what the other was looking for right now. Marc put some money down on the bar for Joe and led her outside.

'You know we can go to my place, we don't have to go to your hotel room."

"Doesn't like half the hospital live in your place?"

"Good point, only I have to take my own car"

"That is fine with me"

He got in his car and she got in hers and followed him to The Archfeild.

When they got up to his room they started to kiss again, and the kissing moved to the king sized bed that is when Meredith pushed him off of her.

"Is something wrong Meredith?"

She wanted to say "Yes you're not Derek," but wound up saying "No I just think we are taking this way too fast"

"There is no such thing as too fast for two dirty mistresses"

"No Marc there is, I just, I don't think I am ready"

"Ready?"

"Yes I am not over Derek yet, and if I have sex with you tonight I will only be using you to try and make getting over him easier"

Marc sighed "I guess you are right"

He got up off the bed and threw her a pair of his sweat pants and one of his t-shirts.

"You can crash here tonight, go up this on"

"Thank-you for understanding, I think we are both going through a hard time and we can help each other through it. Then maybe after once I am over Derek and you are over Addison"

Marc finished her sentence "We can try and be a couple."

"Right" she replied. She walked into his bathroom, "Can I use your shower?"

"Of course"

She took a shower in his bathroom, which was probably one of the most uncomfortable feelings ever. Then she dried off and put on his sweat pants and his black t-shirt. She really could have just worn the t-shirt and her panties but she thought if she was sleeping in the same bed as Marc Sloan that would be a bad idea. When she came out of the bathroom Marc was stunned by how beautiful she looked. Addison was a beautiful woman, she really was but she was beautiful when she was all made up. Here Meredith was standing, wet hair, no makeup (except for the little bit of mascara that had run off her eyelashes in the shower) and wearing his clothes and she just looked stunning.

"Um, where do you want me to sleep?" she asked him.

"I can sleep on the couch if you don't want me to sleep in the bed with you."

"No Marc this is your hotel room I should sleep on your couch, besides I am smaller so I will fit on it"

"No Meredith really you can have the bed"

He was insisting on it so she lay down on his bed got under the covers and tried to fall asleep. She lay with her eyes shut trying to sleep for about 10 minutes but she could feel Marc watching her.

"You know it's not very nice to watch people sleep"

He laughed, "I'm sorry you just look like an angel when you sleep"

"You are not the first person to say that" she said as she sat up.

"Why are you sitting up?"

"Can't sleep, and now this is going to sound so stupid but, can you sleep in the bed with me?"

"Only if you are comfortable with it"

"I am, I just, I need someone to hold me"

"I guess I can do that" he said as he got under the covers next to her. She lay back down and he wrapped his arms around hers and held her hands.

"Is this okay?" he asked.

"This is perfect. Good night Marc"

"Night Meredith"

With that they fell asleep.

_Can I ask you a question please?_

_Promise you won't laugh at me _

_Honestly I'm standing here_

_Afraid I'll be betrayed _

_As twisted as it seems_

_I only fear love when it's in my dreams _

_Let in the morning light _

_And let the darkness fade away _

_Can you turn my black roses red? _

_Can you turn my black roses red? _


	11. Chapter 11: Is That Alright With You?

Chapter Eleven: Is That Alright With You?

Two weeks have passed; Meredith and Marc have been doing great. He really wants to be more than just a dirty mistress or a man whore. He wants to replace Derek for Meredith. She is clearly still in love with Derek but is in a way using Marc to hide from that, but she really was trying to be happy with him. (Like in season two when she tried to be happy with Finn, only it is Marc) Meredith has decided to return permanently to Seattle, but Marc still hasn't made a decision to Richard's offer at Seattle Grace. One day, when Derek found out that Meredith was staying in Seattle he went over to her place to see her but he was stunned when Sloan answered the door.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Derek asked Marc

"I could ask you the same question"

"Where is Meredith? I need to talk to her"

"Maybe she doesn't want to talk to you"

"She wants to talk to me, she is staying in Seattle and my divorce was finalized this morning, which means Addison is yours now by the way"

"I don't want Addison"

Just then Meredith came down the stairs in her ratty old Dartmouth t-shirt, and skin tight black boxers (basically black panties.) Her blonde hair was wet like she had just showered. Derek looked at her then looked at Marc in total disbelief.

"I told you to keep your hands off of her" Derek said to Marc his eyes burning with anger.

"She is a big girl Derek she can take care of herself."

"What is going on here?" Meredith asked

"He is trying to protect you from me"

"Derek you know what why don't you just leave. I don't want to talk to you right now"

Derek's right hand formed a fist and Meredith noticed it as he slowly moved it up towards Marc. She quickly separated the two men before anything could happen.

"Derek please leave"

He just turned around and walked away. He felt like someone had just reached into his body, pulled out his heart and threw it on the ground as it smashed into a million pieces. How could she do that to him? Sleeping with Marc? He got into his car and started to drive away, still in disbelief of what he had seen at her house. When he got back to his trailer he stopped the car.

"Please let that have been a dream. A terrible, dreadful dream that I am going to wake up from soon. Meredith can't be sleeping with Marc. Can she?"

_leave me out with the waste this is not what I do  
it's the wrong kind of place to be thinking of you  
it's the wrong time for somebody new  
it's a small crime and I got no excuse  
and is that alright yeah?_

_I give my gun away when it's loaded  
is that alright yeah?  
if you don't shoot it how am I supposed to hold it?  
is that alright yeah?  
I give my gun away when it's loaded  
is that alright yeah, with you?_


	12. 12 I Even Fell For That Stupid Love Song

Chapter Twelve: I Even Fell For That Stupid Love Song

**Authors Note: Since this fic is me re-writing season 2, I will let you know I am getting closer to the end of what happens in Season 2. So right now the characters are in the midst of planning the prom for the Chief's niece, Izzie cut the LVAD wire and Denny had his transplant. (And yes he is going to die ultimately I don't want to re-write that because I want Izzie and Alex to be together eventually) So if you get confused please ask me questions! HAPPY READING ******

One morning Meredith walked into the locker room while Bailey was already giving out assignments.

"Nice of you to join us Grey"

"I am sorry I got caught up"

"I am sure you did, as much as I want to send you off to the Pitt today, I have come up with a better idea, Dr. Shepard needs an intern on the new patient that was admitted last night. I am sure that will make your day so much better."

Great, Meredith thought.

She headed to pre-op and found Derek looking at the patients chart.

"Dr. Shepard, Dr. Bailey says you need an intern"

"Yes I do Dr. Grey; our patient was in a three car pileup he needs a CT"

"I have to take him for a CT?"

"Yes you do"

"Well if he needs surgery do I get to scrub in?"

"I don't know Dr. Grey. Page me when you get the CT report back"

Derek left the room barely even acknowledging Meredith. She was really pissed off until she felt a familiar arm wrap around her waist and a familiar set of lips kiss her neck.

"You better cut that out, we are in a hospital"

"No can do"

"Marc I am serious, Derek is around the corner you don't want him to attack you"

"I can take Derek"

Meredith finally got out of his arms

"I am sure you could just not in this hospital okay?"

"Okay"

Meredith talked to Marc for a while when she should have been taking her patient for his CT. When Derek came back he saw Marc and Meredith goofing around by the nurse station.

"Dr. Grey did you take my patient for his CT"

"Oh I am sorry Dr. Shepard"

"Is the patient conscious and lucid yet?"

"No, but he is stable as of now"

"Dr. Grey, when I ask you to take my patient for a CT I am not kidding around, now get the scans done then ask your resident to re-assign you"

"Look Derek, it was my fault, I side tracked her"

"Dr. Sloan stay out of this."

"Okay please guys, feel free to fight with each other on your own time, but not within the four walls of this hospital please. Dr. Shepard I am doing your CT now"

Meredith left and wheeled the patient to radiology. When she was in the observing room Derek arrived.

"What do we see Dr. Grey"

"Why should I bother answering, I don't get in on the surgery anyways."

"Dr. Grey I would re-think making one more sarcastic remark before I have a talk with your resident"

Meredith rolled her eyes. "Oh give me a break you are only treating me like crap because I am sleeping with your ex- best friend."

"Grey…"

"No you don't have the right to judge me like that, not anymore Derek"

"And why is that?"

"Because I am broken because of you Derek, you chose Addison."

"Yeah but then I divorced her Meredith, and you got real comfortable with Marc once I left my wife. It is almost like this is you and Marc getting revenge on me and Addison for not choosing you"

"Excuse me"

"I am saying that maybe you two really are meant for each other, your both home wreckers and all. How long will this one last? Do you have another victim in line after your done with Marc, because you really seem to be getting around"

He had reached Meredith's last nerve

"No, no Derek, you do not have the right to talk to me like this. You made me fall in love with you, you lied to me, and then you left me shattered and broken to put myself back together all on my own. If you have a problem with the way I do that, keep it to yourself, because in this situation you are the bad guy Derek. You have no right to call me a whore and a home wrecker. Not any more."

She stormed out of the hospital and got in her car and then just started to drive.

_How can I put it? you put me on_

_I even fell for that stupid love song_

_Yeah yeah_

_Since you've been gone_

_How come I never hear you say_

_I just wanna be with you_

_I guess you never felt that way_

_But since you've been gone_

_I can breathe for the first time_

_Im so movin on_

_Yeah yeah_

_Thanks to you_

_Now I get _

_I get what I want_

_Since you've been gone_


	13. Chapter 13: Somebody Like You

Chapter 13: Somebody Like You

Meredith just drove her car. She had no idea where she was driving too but she was driving away from the hospital. She almost got into an accident when she realized she was driving without her license on her and she had left work in the middle of her shift. That is when her pager went off. It was Bailey, which meant Meredith was in a lot of trouble. She picked up her cell phone and called Bailey.

"You paged?"

"Where in God's name are you Grey? Do you think it is alright to disappear in the middle of a shift?"

"No"

"Then wherever the hell you are get your ass back to this hospital now! You are supposed to be finishing setting up for the prom"

"Actually I should be scrubbing in with Dr. Shepard but since he is a jackass I am not"

"So wait a minute you left the hospital because you and Derek got in a fight"

Meredith froze, "Uh no…"

"Meredith Grey once you get back to the hospital you can finish blowing up balloons for the prom; you are banned from the OR for the next month"

"What! That is so unfair; you can't do that"

"I just did. Get your ass back to the hospital"

Meredith turned her car around and headed back to Seattle Grace. She went back up to the OR floor to find Dr. Bailey.

"Grey get back down to your locker room and blow up those balloons. Get off the floor I just banned you from"

Meredith turned around and went back to the locker room where Izzie was doing the balloons.

"Hey Izz, I have to help"

"What did you do?"

"Nothing"

"Come on Mer, what did you do to get stuck blowing up balloons in the locker room with me?"

"I got in a fight with Shepard and I left the hospital"

"You left?"

"Yeah, got in my car and drove away. Oh and I am banned from the OR for a month, I am not even supposed to go on the OR floor"

"Sucks"

"Tell me about it"

They blew up balloons all afternoon and then Izzie went to check on Denny and Meredith went to find Marc. He was standing in front of the OR board. She walked up behind him and wrapped her little arms around his waist. He turned around and kissed her.

"How is your day?"

"Terrible, I got banned from the OR for a month."

"For what?"

"Being late, mouthing off to Bailey." She lied, but she wasn't going to tell him about her fight with Derek. "How is your day?"

"Slow, there are like no good plastic cases in Seattle"

"It will get better, I promise."

"Okay, well if you say so."

They stood there reading the OR board for a while until Marc spoke up again

"Meredith…"

"Yes?"

"Will you go to the prom with me?"

She looked at him and smiled. He loved how she smiled; it gave her face that look of childish innocence. She had the most beautiful smile of any woman he had ever met.

"Yes Marc I will go to the prom with you"

"Look I am done working for the day so…"

"We can go home now"

"Okay"

They walked down to the locker room for Meredith to get changed and left the hospital hand-in-hand.

_and I'm letting go of all my lonely yesterdays  
I've forgiven myself for the mistakes I've made  
now there's just one thing the only thing I want to do  
I want to love somebody, love somebody like you  
I want to feel the sunshine  
shining down on me and you  
when you put your arms around me  
babe you let me know there is nothing in this world I can't do_


	14. Chapter 14: I Miss You Quite Terribly

Chapter Fourteen: I Miss You Quite Terribly

The next day Meredith and Izzie had the day off. They slept in and by the late afternoon they started to get ready for the prom.

"Izzie I can't pick a dress"

"Meredith, just put on a dress and let's go"

"Izzie I seriously need help!"

Izzie came into Meredith's room and found four dresses on her bed and Meredith standing wearing just her bra and panties.

"Pick one for me"

Izzie looked at the four dresses. One was blue, one was black, one was white and the other was red.

"Um, wear the white one. You'll look hot in it. Marc will think you're sexy and Derek will be jealous"

"Izzie that is not what I was going for"

"Yes it is, just put this on and let's go"

"Fine"

They got dressed and headed off to the hospital.

When they got there Izzie went upstairs to check on Denny and Meredith went to down to the prom to find Marc. She found him standing with Derek so she went up behind him and hugged him. He turned around and kissed her passionately. They let it drag on because Derek was standing right there.

"You can let her come up for air you know"

Marc stopped kissing Meredith, "Oh shut up you jerk" Marc eyed up and down Meredith. "You look… wow, I have… you are so beautiful Meredith."

"Oh thanks Marc, you clean up pretty good too"

Derek looked at Meredith. She did look amazing. He missed her so much; he just wanted to hold her in his arms again. He wanted to feel her soft skin against his, and run his hands through her silk like hair. But, she was with Marc now, and for the first time in six months she looked happy again. Finally Derek walked away leaving Marc and Meredith alone.

"So do you want to dance with me Meredith?"

"I would love to"

They walked onto the dance floor hand-in-hand and started to dance.

"Thank-you Marc"

He looked at her with a puzzled expression, "For what?"

"For making me happy again, for the past six months I have felt so lost, so alone and you made those feelings disappear"

"I know Meredith, I love you"

She stopped dead in her tracks and looked at him.

"Oh, please don't freak out"

"No I am not freaking out, but, Marc I want to. I want to tell you that I love you…"

"But,"

"But I… I want to mean it when I say it. It doesn't mean I don't feel the same way it just means I am not ready to say it yet. Please don't take any offence."

"I am not. I want you to be ready too."

"Okay, thank you Marc"

Meredith held him closer to her body and looked over his shoulder then her eyes met Derek. He was staring at them from across the room. She pulled away from Marc.

"What is wrong?"

"Um, I am not feeling so good, I am going to the washroom I will be right back okay?"

"Yeah sure, I will be right here waiting"

He kissed her forehead as Meredith briskly walked away, and Derek followed.

She finally made it to an exam room (I couldn't think of anything else!). As she slammed the door Derek caught it and came in.

"Derek leave me alone"

"Meredith…"

"NO! Don't Meredith me! Just leave me alone!"

"Please just try and understand…"

"I don't want to understand! I just want you to leave me alone."

"But why Meredith?"

"Why? You want to know why I want you to leave me alone! Derek, I moved on! I am with Marc now, and he told me he loves me! And I am trying to be happy with him, and I just think there is possibility here. Even more importantly I WANT to be happy with him. I WANT to be able to tell him that I love him to. But you, you are constantly watching us, and you follow me, and you call me a whore. So Derek, just leave me alone and move on with your life!"

There was a short silence while Meredith caught her breath from yelling at him, and then he spoke up.

"You think I want to stay here. Hovering, watching you, following you. You think I want to live my life like this? Meredith, you are all I can think about. The second I saw you walk down those stairs and Marc was in your house you crushed me. I thought we had a chance that I divorced my wife. I left her for you Meredith! I am in love with you too. I have been since the night I met you in the bar. And all I can think about now is you and Marc. Meredith maybe I expected you to move on, but not with him. My head is filled with images of the two of you. I thought that when I saw him with Addie I was broken, when I saw the two of you Meredith… I… I don't even know how to explain this! I would give up anything and everything to move on but I can't Meredith, I can't!"

They stared at each other in silence until Derek grabbed Meredith's face in his hands and started to kiss her.

_I like where we are  
when we drive in your car  
I like where we are...here  
'cause our lips can touch  
and our cheeks can brush  
well, our lips can touch...here  
you are the one  
the one that lies close to me  
whispers "hello, I miss you quite terribly"  
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly  
there's no place I could be but here in your arms_

**So maybe the same thing did happen at the prom between them. I did my best to re-write those speeches and I really hope I captured them well. ******


	15. Chapter 15: You Are My Sweetest Downfall

Chapter Fifteen: You Are My Sweetest Downfall

She tried her hardest to not give in, but she still loved him. She missed his kiss, and his touch. They made love to each other in the exam room. Then when Meredith realized how complicated she had just made her life, she frantically re-dressed herself to go back to Marc.

"Meredith you could say something"

"I … I can' Derek. Marc is waiting for me"

"So you are just going to pretend what happened didn't happen?"

"Derek please just drop this! Zip me up"

He zipped the back of her dress shut

"Derek, you need to fix your shirt and your tie before you go back out there"

"You might want to fix your hair"

She was putting her shoes back on when the door opened and Cristina stood in front of her.

"Oh you have got to be kidding me!"

Meredith ran out the door and into the bathroom across the hall.

"What are you doing to her Derek? Please just leave her to mend"

"I can't Cristina, I love her!"

"Marc loves her too Derek"

"This is getting complicated"

"It is so please just leave her alone, and fix yourself up before you go back out there"

Derek tightened his tie and tucked in his shirt as Cristina went to find Meredith.

She was sitting on the floor of a stall crying.

"Meredith come out of there, this isn't cool"

She opened the door and looked up at Cristina.

"Please don't tell anyone"

"I won't"

Cristina sat down beside Meredith

"I just need to know why? Meredith what were you thinking?"

"I wasn't! He was there saying all these perfect things to me and all I could think about was how much I missed him when I was in Boston, and how amazing he was when my mom died, and how I am the biggest bitch, for moving on with his ex- best friend. I am terrible person Cristina!"

"We all make mistakes Mer"

"Not as bad as me Cristina!"

"Look, I couldn't stand by Burke when he was making the decision to have his operation and I couldn't stand by him in surgery. I may have ruined that relationship. Izzie cut the LVAD wire and Denny…. Denny"

"What happened to Denny?"  
"He died Meredith, a few hours ago"

"Oh Izzie"

"She isn't taking it well, she confessed for cutting the wire and quit"

"QUIT! She quit the program?"

"Yeah Mer, a lot happened tonight"

"And here I am crying about the fact that I have two men in love with me. While the man Izzie loves just died"

"Meredith stop beating yourself up, let's go home"

"Okay"

10 HOURS LATER

Meredith and Cristina are in the kitchen watching Callie make dinner when the doorbell rang.

"Cristina get that"

"This is your house Mer, I am not getting it"

"No! I am not getting it! It is probably you know who!"

"Fine"

Cristina went to answer it and it was in fact Marc.

"Meredith is sleeping"

"But I need to talk to her"

"She doesn't want to talk to anyone right now"

"She and Derek disappeared at the same time last night"

"You are over analyzing everything Marc, go home and let her sleep"

Marc slowly walked away while Cristina went back to the kitchen.

"You owe me for that one Mer"

"Thank you"

"Is Izzie still in the bathroom?"

Just then Izzie came into the kitchen and she had changed her clothes.

"Izzie…"

"Please don't talk now Meredith"

"Okay"

Meredith got Izzie a big plate of food and put it in front of her. The four women ate in silence not knowing what to say. Cristina spoke up first

"Izzie, I can only imagine what you are going through but you need to talk"

"I don't want to talk"

"Izzie… okay fine, I think Burke and I are over"

Cristina glared at Callie

"I told George I loved him and he just sat there"

Then Callie glared at Meredith, she sighed and then spoke up.

"Marc told me he loved me last night, I didn't say anything back and I had sex with Derek in an exam room"

Izzie dropped her fork on the floor and Callie spit out her water.

"What are you really that shocked?"

"Meredith, aren't you and Marc happy now?" Izzie asked

"I don't know, but I do know that I miss Derek. I miss him a lot and Marc is really just distracting the feelings I have for Derek"

"So what does this mean then?" Callie asked

"I don't know. For now, it means I avoid the both of them at all costs"

The girls went back to eating when George and Alex came back home and walked into the kitchen, and then Derek trailed behind them. Meredith looked up at him and then back down at her empty plate. She got up and cleared the table and then started to load the dishwasher.

"Hey guys how about we go sit in the living room" Callie suggested

"Yeah my back hurts from lying on the floor for so long I could use a comfy couch right about now"

Meredith glared at her friends for leaving her alone in the kitchen with Derek.

"Meredith I…"

"Derek please don't talk to me right now I feel terrible"

"Because you think you made a terrible mistake sleeping with me last night?"

"No"

"No?"

"I think I made a terrible mistake starting something with Marc. I was trying to avoid the fact that I lost you and I was trying to run from my feelings but it all just caught up to me that much faster"

"What does that mean?"  
"I think it means that I am still in love with you. I always have been Derek. I need to come clean and end it with Marc, as hard as it will be"

"So you want to get back together?"

"That isn't what I said Derek. Let me come clean with Marc first, I just don't know if I can ever trust you again. I need time"

"Take all the time you need, because I have always loved you too"

With that he left her house.

_You are my sweetest downfall_

_I loved you first_

_Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth _

_But I have to go _

_I have to go _

_Your hair was long, when we first met _

_Samson went back to bed_

_Not much hair left on his head_

_Ate a slice of wonder bread _

_And went right back to bed _

_And the history books forgot about us_

_And the bible didn't mention us _

_The bible didn't mention us _

_Not even once _


	16. Chapter 16: Breathe Me

Chapter Sixteen: Breathe Me

Three days later Meredith was in the locker room getting ready when Marc came in.

"Where the hell have you been the past four days?"

"I am sorry Marc I've been working and taking care of Izzie"

"We need to talk Meredith"

"Yes Marc, I think we do"

They went into an on-call room and Meredith looked into his eyes and started to cry

"Meredith what is wrong?"

He tried to hold her but she pushed him away

"Marc I did a terrible thing you don't want to be with me"

"Meredith I love you and I want to be with you"

"Please don't say that"'

"Say what?"

"That you love me; it is only making this harder"

"Meredith what did you do?"

She started to cry even harder and hyperventilate. He sat down beside her on the bed and calmed her down

"I had sex with Derek at the prom"

He got up off the bed and walked to the other side of the room and paced back and forth in silence.

"Marc please say something"

"I can't… Meredith… I…."

"Marc I am sorry, there is more"

"Great now you are going to tell me you still love him aren't you"

She started to cry again

"I am sorry Marc"

"No that's okay; I was stupid to think you could move on from him. You know what Meredith, just go back to him and I will go back to New York. It was stupid of me to ever come to Seattle."

Marc left the on-call room slamming the door shut and leaving Meredith alone and crying.

Two weeks later Marc hadn't left Seattle yet, but he was trying to get Addison back. Addison refused to go back to him because she knew he had fallen for Meredith. Derek was pressuring Meredith to make a decision but she was so confused. One day she woke up feeling so sick. At the hospital her stomach felt like a tornado, spinning round and round. After rounds she sat down by the nurse's station and held her stomach

"What is wrong with you?" Cristina asked her

"There is a tornado in my stomach. I have to make a decision, all this stress is making me sick"

"Yeah McDreamy and McSteamy making you sick"

"Seriously Cristina… I"

But it hit her all too fast. She ran over to the garbage can and dumped the contents of her stomach into it

"Okay maybe you are really sick"

"No shit! Get me water"

George came up to comfort Meredith while Cristina got her water. Cristina came back with the water and Meredith sat down to drink it. They were still sitting in the nurse's station when Meredith threw up again.

"Holy crap Mer! Are you pregnant?"

Cristina said that a little louder than Meredith had wanted her to. Marc and Derek heard and came running down the stairs.

"Oh this is just perfect" She said as Dr. Bailey grabbed her and took her off before either of the two men could make it to her.

_Help, I have done it again _

_I have been here many times before _

_Hurt myself again today _

_And the worst part is there's no-one else to blame _

_Be my friend_

_Hold me _

_Wrap me up _

_Unfold me _

_I am small _

_I'm needy _

_Warm me up _

_And breathe me _


	17. Ch 17:This Love Is All I Have To Give

Chapter Seventeen: This Love is All I Have To Give

Meredith lay on the table of an exam room as Cristina hovered over her.

"Stop it!"

"Stop what?"

"Hovering, my mind is going crazy right now!"

"Who's the father?"

"I AM NOT PREGNANT!"

"You don't know who it is do you?"

"I am not pregnant"

"Meredith come on, it's classic, the fever the non-stop vomiting"

"Cristina! Please don't do this"

"You have no idea who the father is do you?"

"Well it is Derek or Marc's obviously"

Just then Dr. Bailey walked in holding a sheet of paper, with a very worried look on her face. Meredith looked up at her

"I'm pregnant aren't I?"

"Yes Dr. Grey you are"

"Great"

"It's okay Meredith, I still have the number for the clinic I went to; you don't have to have this baby"

"Dr. Bailey can I go home for the day"

"Yes Dr. Grey, get some rest. You have a very important choice to make"

"Mer, you aren't actually considering keeping this baby. I mean you don't even know who the father is!"

"Cristina, I need some time. Just make sure no one else finds out okay?"

"I can do that"

Meredith got in her car and drove herself home. She walked up the stairs and took a nap. She was woken up when someone walked in the door

"Meredith are you home?"

"I'm in my room Izzie!"

Izzie came upstairs and looked at Meredith. Meredith could tell by the way she was looking at her she knew

"You know don't you?"

"Know what?"

"Come on Izzie I know Cristina told you"

"So Cristina told me you are pregnant what is the big deal?"

"Who else knows?"

"Alex and George, but Marc and Derek don't know. We made sure of that"

"Thanks"

Izzie sat next to her on the bed.

"Have you made a decision?"

"I don't know Izzie. I don't think I am ready to be a mom, but I can't just kill my baby."

"It is a hard decision Meredith"

"I… I have been thinking I should go back to Boston, have my baby there"

"Meredith you can't leave again"

"But I think I have to"

"You don't you are going to need help raising this baby. And since the father situation is complicated, the baby's aunts and uncles can help"

When Izzie said aunts and uncles Meredith knew she was referring to her Cristina, George, and Alex.

"I guess so. I just, really don't know what to do. All I know is that I need some time off. To think about this before I decide."

"Okay I will drive you to the hospital to tell the Chief"

Izzie drove Meredith to the hospital and she went right to the chief's office.

"Hey Chief"

"What can I do for you Meredith?"

"I need some time off. I was thinking maybe a week"

"That is fine I just need to know why."

"I have some things to think about, issues to work out. Personal stuff that is all"

"Alright Meredith, I will let your resident know"

"Thanks Chief"

She got back in the car and Izzie drove them back home along with George who had finished his shift.

On the last day of Meredith's leave of absence she went to Mercy West for a sonogram. She didn't tell anyone about it though, especially not Cristina who was pressuring her to have an abortion. When the appointment was done she sat in the car looking at the picture of her baby. She put her hand on her belly.

"So you really are in there aren't you? You know a lot of people don't want me to keep you in there, and if I do it will only complicate my life more. But I am keeping you. I don't care what people think, I don't care if you don't get a real daddy, you have me and that will be more than enough because I already love okay baby."

_And what I wanted most, what I wanted most, what I wanted most,  
Was to get myself all figured out.  
And what I figured out, what I figured out, what I figured out,  
Was I needed more time to figure you out.  
There's not a lot for you to give if you're giving in,  
And there's not a lot for you to feel if you're not feeling it.  
You bring it up and bring it in and we'll get you fixed up in no time.  
This love is all I have to give._

**A/N: Just to let you all know in advance. We aren't going to find out whose baby this is until it is born. But that will make some fun for Meredith Marc and Derek for the next nine months! ******


	18. Chapter 18: The Rewind Button

Chapter Eighteen: The Rewind Button

When Meredith was going back to work the next day, she had to first go speak to the Chief and tell him she was having a baby, and then she had to tell Derek and Marc. She sat down in the chair opposite the Chief and sighed

"Meredith what did you come in here to tell me?"

"I am having a baby chief Webber"

"A baby, you're pregnant?"

"Yes I am"

"Congratulations Meredith"

"Thank-you"

"So I assume Sloan is the father, is he really ready for this?"

"I don't know that yet, because he doesn't know"

"Why not Meredith?"

"Because there is a chance that Derek could be the father"

"Oh…"

"You don't have to say anything; I just wanted to let you know so you could make sure my work load isn't too heavy. I can't imagine this job is going to compliment growing a baby inside of me"

"I understand Meredith, but you are telling the potential fathers right?"

"I am going to tell them right now"

"Good, have a nice day Meredith"

"You too Sir"

Then she left to find Cristina who was going to help her tell Marc and Derek she was pregnant. The four of them met in a conference room.

"Meredith why did you bring us here?" Marc asked in a rather pissed off tone.

"Yeah Meredith, I have a craniotomy in 15 minutes."

Meredith looked over to Cristina for support; Cristina sighed and spoke for Meredith

"One of you got Meredith knocked up"

They both stared at her wide eyed

"Enough with the shocked judging looks, all I want to say is that I am keeping this baby and neither of you need to be a part of its life. I can raise this baby on my own"

"No Meredith if that is my child who it probably is, I want to be a part of its life"

"Wait Derek, what makes you think it is probably yours?"

"Looking at her she is probably about 6 weeks and we slept together 6 weeks ago"

"I am six weeks and I don't care whose baby this is. The most important parent here is me. I am raising this baby"

"Hey I was sleeping with her six weeks ago too you know"

"Stop fighting please"

"You are going to run a paternity test right?" Marc asked her

"No Marc! I don't care who the father is! Did you guys miss that? I am raising this baby! If you really want to know if you are the father we will find out in nine months okay?"

She got up and stormed out the conference room with Cristina running after her and Derek and Marc sitting there.

"How can she expect to have a baby without a father?" Marc said

"She is stubborn; always has been always will be. Once she finds out who it is I think she will let the father be a part of the child's life though"

"You mean once she finds out I am the father"

"What makes you so sure that you are the father?"

"You and Meredith only had sex once recently; Meredith and I have had sex much more than that recently"

"Oh so just because you have been sleeping with her more you are the father!"

"Yes actually, Meredith is going to give birth to MY handsome son in nine months"

"You know it only takes one time to get pregnant, and for the record that baby is definitely going to be a girl. MY little girl"

Derek stormed out of the room and into the OR. He was so mad at Meredith. He just wanted her to have a paternity test run on the fetus so they would find out that he is the father and he could finally be with her again. This baby deserved to have two parents. But Marc felt the same way. Both men were convinced that they were the father of this child.

In the meantime Meredith was having a very hard time keeping down any food at all, and word about her being pregnant was spreading fast. She was throwing up in the bathroom of the locker room when Callie came in.

"Are you alright Meredith?"

"Who is that?"

"It's Callie"

"Oh, yes I am fine"

She threw up again and Callie heard

"Would you like me to get you some water Meredith?"

"That would be nice; thanks Callie"

"No problem"

Callie went to get a water bottle and came back to find Meredith looking at herself in the mirror.

"Thanks Callie"

"You don't look so good Meredith; maybe you should try and eat something"

"No eating just makes me vomit"

"Meredith, you need to eat"

"No really, I have a surgery with Dr. Bailey now. I have to go; but thanks for all your help Callie. I really appreciate that you are trying to be my friend"  
"No problem Meredith, just take it easy okay?"

"I will do my best"

Then Meredith headed up to the OR floor to scrub in with Dr. Bailey

_2 am and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake _

_Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?_

_I don't love him _

_Winter just wasn't my season _

_Yeah we walk through the doors so accusing their eyes_

_Like they have any right at all to criticize _

_Hypocrites you're all here for the very same reason _

'_Cause you cant jump the tracks _

_Were like cars on a cable _

_And life's like an hourglass glued to the table _

_No one can find the rewind button girl _

_So cradle your head in your hands _


	19. Chapter 19: Wait For You

Chapter Nineteen: Wait For You

The rest of her shift Meredith went out of her way to avoid Derek and Marc, and the hospital rumor mill was flying like crazy about her being pregnant. At 7 o'clock Izzie, Meredith and George were walking out to the car when Meredith noticed they were parked beside Derek and he was getting his car packed up.

"Umm… Izzie can we wait a minute before we go to the car"

"Why Meredith?"

Izzie looked over and saw Derek

"You have to face him at some point in your life, you work with him Mer"

"But I can't today. I already put him and Marc through enough"

Then George grabbed Meredith's arm and Izzie grabbed the other and they practically dragged her to the car. Derek saw them coming and he instantly turned on the McDreamy charm.

"Meredith"

"Derek, not now"

"I just wanted you to know that I fully support what you are doing here with this baby and you have my 100 support and attention for the next nine months. Even if this baby isn't mine I want to help you through this"

A soft smile lit up Meredith's face that made Derek melt inside.

"Actually you could get me some food. I haven't been able to keep much down all day but I am feeling a bit better right now"

"Should we go out to dinner then?"

"I guess that is appropriate"

He walked her to the passenger side of his car and opened the door for her. Then he drove off to their favorite restaurant. They had a very innocent meal. They discussed Meredith's new work schedule, her due date and she showed him the first sonogram picture. When he looked at the picture something inside of him knew that the child inside Meredith was his. There was no way it was Marc's baby. He and Meredith were having a baby and in nine months they would be back together. Of course he kept all of this crazy talk to himself because he didn't want her to snap at him again. After dinner he drove her home and she went up to bed, but it wasn't long before Izzie came in.

"There is someone here to see you"

"Who is it? I am tired"

"Marc"

"Oh well send him up"

Izzie left and Marc came in her room.

"Hey Meredith"

"Hey, how was your day?"

"Good, it was good. I was a little distracted but… still good"

"That's good"

"Yeah"

She then looked at his hands. He was holding what looked like a tub of ice cream from Kawartha Dairy (her favorite ice cream place)

"What's that?" she asked him

"Um… strawberry ice cream, I know it is your favorite and I heard you were having a hard time keeping food down"

"Oh well thank you Marc, you really didn't need to do this"

"No I did Meredith."

He handed her the ice cream and a spoon and she started to dig into it. He watched her eat for a while and then started to talk similar to the way Derek did before.

"So Meredith, I do understand that you don't want to know who the father of the baby is and I want you to know I respect your decision"

"Thank you"

"There is more, I don't care if this baby isn't mine, I still want to be here for you while you are pregnant it is going to be difficult for you to do this alone"

"Thank you Marc, that is very kind of you"

"Can I still be a part of the baby's life when it is born?"

"Of course you can! I do need help raising the child I am just saying I don't care who the father is"

"Okay Meredith. I am going to let you sleep now"

"Thanks, put the ice cream back in the freezer on the way down, I will finish it tomorrow"

"Of course Meredith, good night"

"Night"

He left her in the room and she laid her head on the pillow. After looking back on the very lovely evening she had she was excited for the next nine months to come. "Let the competition begin" she thought to herself as she drifted off to sleep

_So baby I will wait for you _

_Because I don't know what else I can do _

_Don't tell me I ran out of time_

_If it takes the rest of my life_

_Baby I will wait for you_

_If you think I'm fine it just ain't true_

_I really need you in my life_

_No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you_


	20. Chapter 20: 4 In The Morning

Chapter Twenty: 4 In The Morning

The next morning Meredith woke up to a tornado in her stomach. She went running to the bathroom and threw up everything she ate the night before. After about 10 minutes George came in with a glass of water and held back her hair.

"Thanks George"

"Anything Meredith, here drink this"

She drank the glass of water while George rubbed her back.

"How far along are you Meredith?"

"8 weeks"

"So this morning sickness phase…"

"Isn't even close to being over"

George got up and started the shower for her.

"Get in when you are ready; I will give you a ride to work"

"Thanks George"

She took a shower then quickly got dressed. She went into her bedroom and found she had a text message from Derek.

_Good morning Meredith, hopefully you didn't wake up too sick today. I just wanted to thank you for letting me take you out to dinner last night; I really had a good time. When you get to work there is a surprise waiting for you in your locker. See you soon. _

She smiled when she read the message then ran downstairs to find George and Izzie waiting in the car for her.

When they got to the hospital Meredith practically ran up to the locker room and opened up her locker to find flowers a muffin and a letter from Derek.

_- M_

_I tried to find flowers that were as beautiful as you, but then I realized that it wasn't possible. You will have to settle with these and the muffin (it just happens to be from your favorite bakery.) Have a good day _

_- D _

She smiled and smelled the flowers, when Cristina walked into the locker room

"Who are those from?"

"Oh, Derek and Marc are competing for my attention. They are both convinced they are my child's father so they are going out of their way to make me happy"

"Ew, that makes me want to vomit Mer"

"Hey well I am enjoying it"

"Whatever"

Then Bailey walked in.

"Alright everyone, Yang your with Burke, O'Malley your with Shepard, Stevens report to the Pitt, Karev go find Dr. Montgomery as usual and Grey…"

"Yes Dr. Bailey"

"Dr. Sloan put in a special request for you today"

Everyone just stared at her as she went off to find Marc.

"Dr. Sloan you requested me?"

"Yes I did; how are you feeling this morning?"

"Well I wasn't feeling good at all when I was hugging the toilet bowl but I feel much better now"

"That is good. Did you eat breakfast?"

"If you call Saltines and herbal caffeine free tea breakfast, then yes I ate breakfast."

"That is breakfast. Now, you want to see the case you're scrubbing in on today?"

"Yes please"

Marc was letting Meredith assist on a facial reconstruction surgery. The patient was a firefighter who's face was literally crushed by a pieced of falling wood while he was working. Meredith was starting to think the whole pregnancy thing was working out good for her. At lunch she was sitting alone on the patio when Cristina came out to sit with her.

"Hey where did you get a cheeseburger and fries from at this time of day?"

"Marc ran over to Joe's to buy me lunch. Derek bought me dinner last night, then Marc brought dessert, and then Derek bought breakfast this morning and Marc went to get me some real food for lunch. Oh and I am in on Marc's facial reconstruction at 3 today"

"Hey! That isn't fair"

Izzie came and sat down with them, "Maybe I should sleep with half the staff then get pregnant too. It seems to have serious perks"

"I did not sleep with half the staff; I only slept with Derek and Marc. It just so happens they are very competitive men"

"Whatever, this so isn't fair. I am actually Burke's girlfriend not his pregnant mistress and I don't even get the perks you are getting"

"Are you having sex with Burke?"

"Yes"

"Then you are getting more perks than me Cristina"

Meredith got up and went to study for Marc's surgery. While she was researching and studying on the computer, she heard a familiar voice.

"Hey you are like impossible to find around this place"

She turned around and stared into his deep blue eyes and smiled

"Oh well you found me now, thank you for the flowers and the muffin. You didn't need to do that"

He sat down on the desk she was working at.

"Oh well I just want to help take care of you"

"Thank you"

"How is you day going?"

"I am studying for Sloan's facial reconstruction. We operate at three"

"Sloan is letting you in on that?"

"Yes he is"

"Well I better step up my game then"

"Derek you guys don't need to compete with each other. Nothing either of you do will make me have a paternity test on this baby"

"I am just taking care of you, not competing"

"Whatever"  
"When is your next appointment?"

"When is my what?"

"Your next appointment, you have seen an OB by now haven't you"

"Yes I have, and my next appointment is the twelve week scan next month"

"Can I come?"  
"Excuse me?"

"I want to come to be with you for your 12 week scan Mer"

"That isn't fair to Marc, Derek"

"Why not, I asked first"

"Cristina will take me to this appointment neither you nor Marc can come. Now I have a surgery, so I will talk to you later"

"Yes, of course. Maybe I will drop by tonight with some food"

"Great"

She walked out and went into the OR with Marc. The surgery went well and then George, Izzie and Meredith all went home. At around 7 the doorbell rang. George answered it to find Derek holding a bag of take out food.

"She is in the kitchen"

George let him know then went upstairs. Derek went into the kitchen to find Meredith searching through the fridge.

"Hey, did you bring me food?"

"Yes I did"

"Mmmm thank you, I am so hungry. Even though I will just throw all of it up tomorrow morning"

"The morning sickness will pass soon Mer"

"I sure hope so"

She started digging into her dinner.

"Holy Mer, slow down or you are going to throw that up in 10 minutes from now"

"I am hungry, did you miss that part"

"No I didn't miss that part but Meredith you are going to make yourself sick if you eat so fast"

"Fine I will slow down then"

She finished her dinner then took the leftover ice cream out of the freezer and finished that too, but she was still hungry so she looked through the fridge again

"What do you want now?"

"Nothing, I am just looking to see what we have in the fridge"

"You are still hungry Mer"

"No I am not, actually I am tired. I am going to bed"

"Do you want someone to tuck you in?"

"I am not a child Derek"

"But, you have a child inside of you; maybe she wants to be tucked in"

"She?"

"Yes, I am convinced that is my little girl in there"

He placed his hand on her tummy. Her tummy that was still flat but was carrying what he believed to be his daughter and Marc believed to be his son. He moved in closer to her and she looked into his beautiful blue eyes. Her knees felt weak and he leaned in to kiss her but she pulled away at the last minute.

"I am sorry Derek I can't"

She ran upstairs and crawled into bed tears in her eyes and cried herself to sleep.

_All I know is, you've got to give me everything  
Nothing else cause, you know I give you all of me  
I give you everything that I am  
I'm handing over everything that I got  
Cause I wanna have a really true love  
Don't ever want to have to go and give you up  
Stay up till 4 in the morning, and the tears are pouring  
And I wanna make it worth the fight  
What have we been doing for all this time?  
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on and do it right_


	21. Chapter 21: Beautiful Disaster

Chapter Twenty- One: Beautiful Disaster

One month's time has passed. Derek and Marc are competing more and more everyday, and Meredith is starting to get annoyed. Today is the day of Meredith's 12 week scan and Cristina is driving her over to Mercy West for the appointment. When they got in the parking lot Meredith just looked down.

"Look Mer, everything is going to be fine"

"I am not so sure about that; maybe I should find out who the father is"

"No Meredith, then they win"

"Cristina this isn't a competition"

"Come on Mer we are going to be late for your appointment"

They walked inside up to the OB unit and checked in. The nurse told them DR. King was waiting for them in the exam room down the hall so they went in to see her.

"Dr. Grey, nice to see you"

"Thanks, can we just get through this quickly; we have to get to work"

"Who is your friend?"

"This is my best friend DR. Yang"

"So you still haven't notified the father?"

"No I thought I told you I don't know who the father is and I have no intention in finding out who the father is"

"Alright Meredith, let's start your exam then"

Her BP was in normal range, she had only gained 7 pounds and everything in terms of her health was good; then it was time to check on the baby.

Meredith changed into a gown and lay on the exam table.

"So as you know this is going to feel cold Meredith"

She flinched as DR. King moved the wand over the cold jell on her belly and then they waited for the image to come up on the screen and for the heartbeat.

"Heartbeat is strong Meredith"

"That is good right?"

"Of course it is DR. Grey"

"Are there any abnormalities on the ultrasound?"

"No, baby looks perfectly healthy"

"Good, that's good"

"Are you positive you don't want to know who the father is?"

Then the door to the room opened

"Well she doesn't want to know but there are two people here who do"

"I though I told you two not to come today! How did you even know where I was?"

"We are smart men" Derek replied

"Yes we are, and we want to know who the father is" Marc added

"Well this is my baby, and I made it perfectly clear to you two that I can do this on my own, so please leave. I can take care of my baby and I don't need all this extra stress"

Cristina made them leave and Meredith was alone in the room with DR. King

"Wow this is one lucky baby"

"Excuse me? How on earth do you get the impression this baby is lucky. It is the most messed up child on the planet and it isn't even born yet"

"That isn't how I see it Meredith"

"How do you see it then?"

"I get so many people come in here and their children barely have enough pieces of parents to make one. This baby has three whole parents that already just love it so much and can't wait for it to get here. They are already fighting over who will love the baby more"

Meredith had never seen it that way, and DR. King did have a good point.

"I am sorry DR. King, are we done now?"

"Yes we are, I will see you again in four weeks"

"Thank you"

She got changed walked right past Derek and Marc and sat in the car waiting for Cristina to take her to work. When they got to work they found DR. Bailey waiting for them.

"Do you have any idea how late you two are!"

"DR. Bailey we know, I had a doctor's appointment and Cristina took me. Someone was supposed to tell you that"

Bailey looked down and felt bad for yelling

"I am sorry, Cristina you're with Burke in cardio as usual today and Grey… umm"

"Shepard or Sloan requested me, am I on the right track?"

"Shepard did request you today"

"This is just going to be a perfect day"

Cristina put her hand on Meredith's shoulder, "Everything is going to be fine Meredith" and then she left the locker room leaving Meredith with Bailey.

She was sitting on the bench across from her open locker and she looked over at Bailey.

"Okay enough with the sympathetic look, I got myself into this mess, this is my fault"

"Meredith you can't blame this on yourself. I thought you wanted this baby"

Bailey sat down beside her and rubbed her back while she started to cry.

"I did, I do want this baby but I just can't handle those two fighting over me. They both want to know, they deserve to know if this is their child or not and they are only trying to help but…"

"What is it Grey?"

"DR. Bailey I am a terrible person!"

"No you are not Meredith"

"Yes I am; I am no different than my mother I am preventing this child from having a father when I know who he is"

DR. Bailey slid down the bench and looked at Meredith.

"You know which one is the father?"

She nodded her head. "I am about 90 percent sure that I am right about it, and he really wants this, he wants to help but I just can't tell him without it crushing the other. No matter what I do someone is going to get hurt"

"Meredith, you will tell them when you are ready. This isn't about protecting one of them or them at all; this is about you and your baby. Keep that in mind. Now if you want I will tell Shepard he can't have you today"

"No you don't need to do that, just give me a minute"

"Okay"

DR. Bailey left Meredith to get herself together and get changed and then Meredith was off to find Derek. However, when she found him she was not happy.

"Marc what makes you so positive the baby is yours!"

"I just know okay Derek!"

"Well maybe I know for a fact that it is my baby."

"Why Derek, she moved on with me. Why would that baby be yours?"

"Because Marc she is still in love with me! She told me, and this is the sign, this is what proves we were meant for each other! She is pregnant with my baby Marc, so just go back to New York where you belong and let me be happy with her!" 

Meredith couldn't handle listening to them bicker anymore

"ENOUGH!" 

They both looked at her.

"Oh Meredith you shouldn't have needed to hear that"

"Both of you leave me alone! This is my baby and it is my responsibility to take care of it. I don't need either of you to help me or take care of me. You are making me even more stressed. Oh and for the record I was going to tell you who the father is today, but neither of you deserve to know. Not after that"

She stormed off into an on-call room and started to cry again.

_She loves her momma's lemonade_

_Hates the sounds goodbyes make_

_Prays one day she'll find someone to need her _

_She swears that there's no difference _

_Between the lies and compliments _

_It's all the same if everybody leaves her _

_And every magazine tells her she's not good enough _

_The pictures that she sees make her cry _

_She would change everything, everything just ask her_

_Caught in the in between a beautiful disaster_

_She just needs someone to take her home _


	22. Chapter 22: Be My Escape

Chapter Twenty- Two: Be My Escape

Meredith is now 15 weeks pregnant and she literally woke up one morning with a belly bump. She took a shower then went downstairs, when George saw her he was shocked.

"Meredith you are starting to show"

"I know, it sucks I need new clothes; nothing fits me anymore"

"Meredith you look beautiful"

"Thanks George, but I don't see it that way. Can someone just drive me to work?"

"I will take you, George has the day off"

Izzie walked out to the car and Meredith followed. When she got there of course she ran into Marc in the parking lot. She looked right into his eyes then turned around and started to walk away.

"Are you going to pretend you didn't see me?"

She kept walking, only at a faster pace this time. He ran to catch up with her.

"Come on Meredith you have been avoiding me and Derek for weeks now"

"I am late Marc just drop this"

He grabbed on to her wrist and she stopped moving and turned around

"Meredith you're glowing"

"Please not right now"

"I am serious, you look so beautiful"

"Marc…"

"Look I am sorry I was being such a jerk and I will bet Derek is sorry too. Now can we just go back to things the way they were before? How about the four of us have lunch together today?"

"Four of us?"

"Me, you, Derek, and the baby" He gently placed his hand on the bump on her tummy and she looked up at him and smiled.

"Alright, fine"

"Thank you Meredith, have a nice morning"

"You too Marc"

That afternoon she went out to the patio for lunch and found Derek and Marc sitting together. She walked up to the table and sat with them.

"Wow, I didn't believe Marc this morning when he said you had popped"

"Are you saying I am fat now?"

Derek panicked "Umm… no of course not Meredith. You are glowing, you look beautiful"

She just gave him a dirty look

"I am serious Mer; you aren't fat, you're just pregnant"

"That is the nice way of saying fat right now, whatever I am hungry"

She ate her lunch very quickly and listened to Derek and Marc talk about surgeries. She wasn't too interested in what they were saying; she looked over at both their trays to see what they hadn't eaten.

"I am not trying to interrupt; but are you going to finish what is left on your trays?"

They both laughed and Meredith ate the remains of both Derek and Marc's lunches.

"So Meredith when is your next doctors appointment?"

She looked up at them in disbelief

"You're kidding me right! After what happened the last time you think I am going to tell you that!"

"Cranky much" Marc said and rolled his eyes.

She just got up and stormed off and Derek smacked Marc across the head

"Ouch! What was that for?"

"You're an idiot! That is what it was for"

Derek literally sprinted after Meredith. She could feel him following her, she was thinking she would make a bolt for the elevator and then remembered that was a bad idea. So she ran into the women's bathroom.

"Oh come on Meredith! I will come in there you know it"

No response

"Now this is just silly. Meredith, Marc is an idiot and he didn't mean what he said now stop hiding from me!"

She poked her head out the door and she looked like she was going to cry

"Meredith please"

"Derek please" mimicking him

"Meredith come on"

She just opened the door and pushed right past him.

"Mer, can I at least talk to you?"

"Fine"

She went into an on-call room across the hall and he followed and locked the door.

"Derek I am just not in the mood to put up with this"

"Meredith I understand that, but every time Marc says something stupid you get mad at me too and that isn't fair to me"

"Oh so you are the innocent one here who has done absolutely no wrong? I should not be mad at you for anything? Is that what you are saying?"

"No that is not what I am saying but Meredith…"

She interrupted him "No Derek whatever you have to say I don't want to hear it. Just leave me alone I need some rest"

"Can I stay with you? Please Meredith"

"Fine"

She lay down on the bed and closed her eyes while Derek sat watching her sleep on a chair across from her. She slept for about a half an hour when she woke up to see Derek smiling at her, she smiled back.

"Watching me sleep again?"

"Maybe, you are even cuter when you sleep and you're pregnant"

"Oh well thanks"

He got up and knelt by the bed, their faces only inches apart

"Are you in a better mood now?" He asked, as he stroked her soft blonde hair

"Yes that nap is just what I needed"

"Good"

He gave her a McDreamy smile and it made her melt inside. At that moment her hormones got the very best of her she looked into his deep blue eyes, ran her hand through his dark curls, pulled him in very close and kissed him. He went along with it and when she tried to pull him on the bed he pulled away.

"Meredith I would be taking advantage, I can't"

"No but I want you to"

"Meredith…"

"Derek, shut up and make love to me"

When she said that to him he always gave in, he climbed on top of her and did exactly as she asked.

_And even though there's no way of knowing where to go _

_I promise I'm going because_

_I gotta get out of here_

_I'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake _

_I gotta get out of here_

_And I'm begging you _

_I'm begging you to be my escape _

**A/N: So Meredith is pregnant and hormonal right now, so she isn't taking into consideration what she is doing right now, but I was thinking she has had a rough couple of weeks so she deserves a little present from Derek who has been such an ass for a while. This does NOT mean they are back together or the baby is his though, please keep that in mind and stay with me, the whole story is resolved by chapter 30. I think chapter 30 will be the last one, so 9 chapters to go! **


	23. Chapter 23: Wild Horses

Chapter Twenty- Three: Wild Horses

Meredith fell asleep in Derek's arms and he lay with his hands on her belly watching her sleep. After an hour they heard a familiar sound.

_Beep Beep Beep Beep _

"Meredith it is yours"

"Who is it?"

"Bailey"

"Oh shit!"

She slowly got up and searched the room for her clothes

"Was I wearing a shirt under my scrub top?"

"Yes it is right here"

He handed her, her shirt

"Thank you Derek"

When she was finished getting dressed she walked towards the door, then turned around and kissed Derek one last time

"You won't tell Marc right?"

"If you don't want him to know then he will never know"

"Thank you again"

"Is this going to happen again Meredith?"

"I don't know Derek, I am so confused right now and I need someone to talk to"

"I could come by tonight with some food"

"That sounds good, now Bailey is going to kill me so I have to go"

"I understand"

She left and went running to answer her page. Derek got up and dressed too then left the on-call room. Little did either of them know that Marc was down the hall and saw them leave.

That night Derek showed up at Meredith's. They ate take out in the kitchen and then went into the family room and sat on the couch together. Derek could tell Meredith was not ready to talk yet.

"Do you want to watch a movie?"

"Umm… sure just look and see what is on pay per view"

"Okay"

After about an hour the awkward-ness had passed and Meredith was now leaning on Derek's chest and he had his arms wrapped around her. She flipped herself around so she was facing him and looked into his eyes

"I'm scared"

"Meredith you are going to make an excellent mother I promise"  
"No it is not just that Derek"

"Then what is it Meredith"

"I just…. I don't know what was wrong with me when I thought I could do this. I can't raise a baby on my own"

"I will be here Meredith, you won't be alone"

"But what if this baby isn't even yours"

"I don't care, all I care is that I love you and I would wait all my life for you Meredith. So no matter what happens once this baby is born, no matter how many years you spend trying to find someone to replace me, at the end of the day if you come back I will still be here."

She started to tear up a bit

"Thank you Derek, you know you really are amazing right"

"Hey, you are the amazing one. Now how about you get to bed, I think someone is a little tired"

He walked her up to bed and helped her get ready then tucked her in like she was a child.

"Derek, you can stay here tonight if you want"

"Are you sure Meredith? Is this really what you want?"

"Derek I don't know what I want, but it seems like the right thing as of now. I mean I am not saying we are a couple again or anything, I just need someone with me right now and you are the person that I need. Marc isn't the same as you. He doesn't understand things as well as you do."

"Okay then I will stay"

He crawled in bed next to her and held her

"Oh, and I can't keep having sex with you. That isn't fair to Marc"

"I understand Meredith. Just close your eyes and try and fall asleep"

_I feel these 4 walls closing in  
My face up against the glass  
I'm looking out  
Is this my life I'm wondering  
It happened so fast  
How do I turn this thing around  
Is this the bed I chose to make  
Its greener pastures I'm thinking about  
Wide open spaces far away  
All I want is the wind in my hair  
To face the fear but, I feel scared  
wild horses I want to be like you  
Though we caution to the wind  
I run free too  
Wish I could recklessly love, like I'm longing too  
Run with the wild horses, run with the wild horses_


	24. Chapter 24: Breathe In, Breathe Out

Chapter Twenty- Four: Breathe in, Breathe out

The next few days Meredith was avoiding Marc and spending a lot of time with Derek, it was getting to the point where Marc was beginning to notice. He found her alone at lunch one day and sat with her

"You have been hard to find lately"

"Well I am just so busy, I have to finish my hours and write my intern exam before I go on maternity leave"

"You shouldn't be pushing yourself too hard. It isn't good for the baby Meredith"

"Marc I am fine"

"Cranky again today"

"Why do you have to do that?"

"Do what?"

"Piss me off even more. I am already tired, my hormones are crazy and I don't need to deal with you being an ass all the time!"

"Jeez Meredith, you don't have to yell at me"

"Whatever Marc I have work to do"

She got up and went back to find Bailey to find something else to do.

She scrubbed in on one of Bailey's surgeries and by that time she was beat. She went up to the forth floor on-call room to get some sleep. When she opened the door she was so stunned at what she saw she just slammed the door.

"Oh crap Marc that isn't good"

"Shut up Addison. She doesn't want me anymore she is sleeping with Derek again"

"So this is just revenge sex then?"

"No of course not Addie"

"No it is, when Derek and Meredith were a couple they always slept in this on-call room, you brought me here so that Meredith would see you with me. Marc you are a terrible person and I can't believe you!" 

Addison ran out of the room and Meredith was no where to be found, that was because she got in her car and left the hospital.

When she stopped her car she found herself at the trailer. She opened the door and found Derek sitting on the couch reading. He looked up at her and saw the tears in her face.

"Oh Meredith what is wrong?"

He held her and she buried her head in his chest and cried.

"Marc is sleeping with Addison!"

"How do you know?"

"I caught them together!"

"Oh Meredith, you don't deserve this"

He held her closer to his body and rubbed her back while she cried. After a few minutes she finally got herself together and she looked up at Derek. He wiped the tears from her eyes with his thumb and smiled at her.

"Thank you Derek. You are being so sweet and supportive. I don't know what I would do without you"

"Let's hope you never have to figure out"

"What do you mean by that?"

He sighed, "I know you want to do this on your own Meredith, but if this baby is mine I want it to have two parents who live together and love each other, and are maybe even married to each other. I am not saying it will happen soon, I am just saying this child really deserves a functional family"

The word marriage made Meredith nervous but he was right.

"If this baby is yours and you want to be a part of its life you can be"

"Thank you Meredith, now how about I make you some food"

"That sounds like a good plan"

She sat down on his couch and watched him make dinner for her. They ate together and she fell asleep in his arms that night too.

_Breathe in breathe out _

_Tell me all of your doubt _

_Everybody bleeds this way, just the same_

_Move on, and break down _

_If everyone goes away, I will stay _

_And I'm not letting go _

_You hold the other line _

'_Cause there is a light_

_In your eyes_

_In your eyes_


	25. Chapter 25: And We'll Run For Our Lives

Chapter Twenty- Five: And We'll Run For Our Lives

Another few weeks have passed. Meredith is now 30 weeks pregnant and she has been living in the trailer with Derek and she refuses to speak to Marc or tell him anything about the baby. Today she had an appointment at Mercy West and then she and Derek were going to shop for furniture for the nursery they were building in Meredith's house. When they got to the hospital she changed into a gown and lay on the table.

"Okay Meredith you know the drill this is going to be cold"

DR. King rubbed the jell over Meredith's tummy and she flinched

"You never really get used to how cold it is though"

Derek laughed and stroked her hair.

"So Meredith did you finally notify the father?"

"Umm… no Derek is just here, he has been taking care of me"

"Well Derek you are doing a good job, Meredith's BP is in the normal range, she has gained just the right amount of weight, and the baby looks great we have a little thumb sucker on us"

DR. King turned the screen to face Derek and Meredith

"Wow that looks like a big baby"

"Calm down Meredith I am sure she isn't that big"

"My god Derek stop calling my son a she"

"Wait Meredith, did I even tell you the sex of the baby?"

"No DR. King you didn't but I am convinced it is a boy and Derek is convinced it is a girl"

"Would you like me to put an end to the dispute and tell you?"

"Yes! Please tell us! Please!"

"Derek come on I told you…"

"Meredith please"

He gave her his best McDreamy look

"Fine you can tell us, then we will know what color to buy when we go shopping today"

DR. King laughed and looked at the screen then back at them.

"Meredith is right, you are having a boy"

"I told you! The mother is always right"

"Well unless Marc is the father, then the father was right too"

"Oh yeah Marc"

"Sorry I brought him up Meredith"

"It's okay, so everything looks good then DR. King"

"Yes it does, if you keep up what you are doing, but maybe even slowing down a little more since we are nearing the end, you will be the mother of a healthy baby boy in 10 weeks"

Meredith smiled at Derek and he smiled back. Then she got up and got changed and they headed off to shop for the baby.

First stop was pottery barn to pick out the furniture for the nursery. They went right to the nursery section and after debating for a while they decided on a nursery set, a rocker for the nursery, and a bassinet for the baby to sleep in before he slept in the crib.

Once they had finished the furniture shopping then headed clothes shopping. They bought a ton of outfits for the baby, Meredith thought it was too much but Derek insisted on it. Then they ate lunch in the food court and went back to Meredith's place so Derek, Alex and George could set up all the furniture and Meredith could take a nap before going in to work.

When she woke up the boys had finished the nursery and she drove off to work. She briefly looked down to change the radio station on her stereo, she looked back up and all she could see were bright white headlights in her eyes and she slipped into a state of unconsciousness.

_I'll sing it one last time for you _

_Then we really have to go_

_You've been the only thing that's right in all I've done_

_And I can barely look at you _

_But ever single time I do _

_I know we'll make it anywhere _

_Away from here_

_Light up, light up _

_As if you have a choice_

_Even if you cannot hear my voice_

_I'll be right beside you dear_

_And we'll run for our lives_

_I can hardly speak I understand _

_Why you can't raise your voice to say _

**A/N: Please don't hate me. This was going to happen since the beginning, but I have to admit I am kind of sad there are only four chapters left! And well I promised action and drama in the conclusion of this story so this is me doing action and drama. **


	26. Chapter 26:Walk Me Down Your Broken Line

Chapter Twenty- Six: Walk Me Down Your Broken Line

DR. Bailey was paged 911 to the ER; multiple traumas were coming in from a three car pile up. She ran out to the first ambulance that came in.

"What do we got?"

"Meredith Grey, 26 years old looks about 30 weeks pregnant, trauma to the abdomen and what looks like a badly broken arm"

Bailey looked at Meredith completely stunned.

"Dr?"

"Get her into trauma one right now"

George and Izzie came running down.

"DR. Bailey we hear its bad can we help?" George begged

Izzie started into the window of the trauma room with Meredith

"Oh my god…"

George looked into the window

"Is that Meredith?"

"You two get out now! And get the chief and DR. Torres and DR. Montgomery here"

Bailey went in the room and set everything up for Addison to check on the baby. She opened the door.

"What do we… Oh my god it's Meredith"

"Addison I need you to check on the baby"

"Um… okay do Derek and Marc know?"

"Chief is talking to them right now"

Addison started the ultrasound when Meredith woke up

"What happened?"

"You were in an accident, DR. Montgomery is checking on the baby now"

"The baby is fine I can feel him kicking"

There was a brief pause

"She is right, heartbeat is strong. But Meredith we need to take you for a CT you may have abdominal bleeding"

"But that may hurt the baby; I need to take care of my baby"

"Grey we need to take care of you too"

Then Callie walked in, "What do we… Meredith! What happened?"

"She was in a car accident, her baby looks fine but her right arm is broken. DR. Bailey is taking her up for CT and her x-rays are right there"

Callie looked at the x-rays.

"That is a nasty break. I will cast it once your CT is done though, that is more important"

Bailey started to push her gurney

"Wait!"

"Yes Dr. Grey?"

"Derek…"

"The chief is talking to him and Marc right now, don't worry about it"

"Okay"

When her CT image came up DR. Bailey walked in

"Damn, she has bleeding around the kidneys. I have to go in"

Addison came in

"Oh this isn't good Bailey"

"I know, you will monitor the baby while I operate right?"

"Of course"

"Alright get her to pre-op then, I will go talk to Shepard and Sloan"

Bailey found the two men screaming at each other in the waiting room.

"Hey, enough you two"

"Is she okay?"

"She has bleeding around her kidneys and she has broken her right arm. The baby is fine but she needs surgery"

"I knew I should have driven her to work"

"Derek you can't blame yourself, I will come back up when her operation is done"

The surgery lasted a couple hours. They had a few scares but she made it out alive as did the baby. She was taken up to recovery and when she woke up she saw Marc at her bedside.

"Where is Derek?"

"You have to talk to me at some point in time Meredith"

"I asked you a question"

"He had a patient"

"Just leave Marc, get out"

"I am not leaving you alone Meredith"

She wouldn't even look him in the eye and then it hit him.

"I am not the father of this baby am I?"

Tears filled her eyes and slowly poured down her face.

"I am sorry Marc; I really thought I loved you. I wanted to love you; I didn't want to be hung up over Derek for the rest of my life but"

"He's the one"

"I am sorry; please don't tell him I will tell him when the baby is born"

"It's okay Meredith. I was still in love with Addie you were still in love with Derek. We were kidding ourselves to think anything else"

"I guess we were"

"I will leave and send Cristina in. I think she is the person you want to talk to right now"

"Thanks Marc"

"Don't let him hurt you again Meredith; you deserve to be happy"

She nodded her head and he left the room.

_So, we're alone again  
I wish it were over  
we seem to never end  
only get closer  
to the point where I can take no more  
the clouds in your eyes  
down your face they pour  
won't you be the new one burn to shine  
I take the blue ones every time  
walk me down your broken line  
all you have to do is cry_

**A/N: So this is my gift to you all. Derek is the baby's Daddy, but then again if you know me you know I am a MerDer fanatic so there was no chance in hell I was going to make this baby Marc's! So keep reviewing and I will post the last chapters soon. Oh and Derek doesn't find out he is the father untill the baby is born just for the record, we have to at least make him wait **


	27. Chapter 27: Running On Sunshine

Chapter Twenty- Seven: Running on Sunshine

A few days later Meredith was getting frustrated being in bed all day. When Addison and Bailey came in to check on her one morning she got really excited.

"Oh please tell me you are here with discharge papers"

"Umm… Meredith…"

"Why are you saying umm Dr. Bailey you never say um"

"Meredith we need to have a talk"

"What is wrong with me now?"

"It's if we discharge you, you have to stay on bed rest until this baby is born so…"

"You will be better monitored if you stay in the hospital"

"What? No I don't… I want to get back to work!"

Dr. Bailey sat down beside her bed, "That isn't an option Meredith"

She leaned her head back and started to cry, "Derek, bring Derek in here please"

Bailey looked at Addison

"I will go get him"

10 minutes later Addison came back with Derek. He walked over to the chair where Bailey was, she got up and he sat down.

"You haven't been around Derek"

"Sorry baby, I got busy but I am here now"

He gently stroked her forehead and ran his fingers through her soft blonde hair

"Addison says if they discharge me I have to stay in bed until I go into labor"

"That is fine Meredith I will stay home and take care of you"

"So you think I should go home"

"You will be more comfortable at home"

"Okay, can you get them to sign my papers then"

"Are they sure you are ready to go home?"

"Derek…"

"I don't want to take you home until they are sure you're okay"

"Fine"

He left and found DR. Bailey at the nurse's station.

"Hey DR. Bailey, anyway I can take my girlfriend home today?"

"Your girlfriend?"

"Yes blonde, 30 weeks pregnant, goes by DR. Grey"

"I know who you are talking about I just didn't know you were together again"

"Well technically she is with Sloan but he is an ass and is cheating with Addison so yeah we are back together"

"Alright I will sign some forms now but Addison needs to sign them and go over the rules of her bed rest before she goes anywhere"

"Alright Bailey just make it fast" 

Bailey signed the discharge papers and Derek went back to Meredith's room and paged Addison. Within about 15 minutes Addison came to the room.

"Derek paged"

"Yes I did, can you sign Meredith's discharge papers so I can take her home?"

"Of course"

She took the papers from Derek and signed them

"Now Meredith there are rules"

"I know, you really don't need to go over them I know what they are"

"Only I do, bed rest that means you can only get out of bed to pee and eat that is it. No heavy lifting, try not to do the stairs and umm… I am not too sure if you two are back together or not so I am going to say this… no sex"

"That's okay we aren't sleeping together"

Derek laughed

"Okay well not too much"

"Well that stops now Meredith, it will be too much for your body and it will be painful for you. So just page me when the contractions start and I will make sure I am here when this little boy is born"

"Thanks for everything Addison"

"No problem take care of yourself, try and keep that baby in there for the next 10 weeks"

"Holy crap 10 weeks, I think I am going to die of boredom!"

"You'll be fine Meredith, take good care of her Derek"

"I will"

Addison left them alone in the room. Derek helped Meredith out of bed, he helped her get changed and then he carried her to a wheelchair and rolled her out of the hospital and drove her home.

Once they got home Meredith slowly tried to get out of the car but Derek ran over and opened her door.

"Excuse me miss what do you think you are doing?"

"Getting out of the car"

"No, this is how you should be treated Meredith"

He lifted her out of the seat and carried her to the door.

"Derek your going to need to use the spare key, I forgot mine again"

He put her down on the swing while he got the key out from under the loose interlock brick and opened the door. He went back to Meredith picked her up and carried her up the stairs.

"Thank you Derek"

"Can I get you anything?"

"Um…. some tea and cookies would be nice"

"Coming right up"

He gently kissed her forehead and went downstairs to get her tea and cookies then came back up to find her reading the baby books he got her.

"Here I will put the tea on the nightstand until it cools down"

"Thank you"

She reached onto the plate and grabbed a cookie and ate it while she kept reading.

"So you actually ready those books?"

"Of course I did, only I skipped the part about what to do when the baby comes… so I have to read that now because the baby will be here soon"

"We still have over 2 months"

"But he could come faster than that; I want to be ready to be a mom when my son is born"

"You are ready to be a mom"

"Thanks, Derek you have been nothing but supportive of me for the past seven months and I have just been miserable, I am so sorry I didn't leave Marc sooner"

"You left Marc?"

"Oh… yeah I did, we both decided that we were using each other to try and get over you and Addison but it only made everything more complicated"

"What if he is the father Meredith? He deserves to be a part of his own son's life."

"He isn't ready to be a father"

"Okay, I just don't want you to do this alone"

"I am not alone"

She reached over and held his hand and he just stared into her eyes.

"Meredith…"

"What?"

He was just giving her a spaced out McDreamy gaze

"What Derek?" she laughed, "God stop looking at me like that it is creepy"

"Will you marry me?"

_Girl you got me tripping on sunshine  
God knows you just made my day  
Since you came around, no  
I just can't slow down, no  
I wanna see you walk in my walk  
Girl you got me thinking about diving  
And get down on one knee, maybe two  
People may stop and stare, but  
I don't even care, no  
Just as long as I'm with you  
You got me running on sunshine  
Ain't no clouds getting in my way  
I must be running on sunshine  
Ain't no rain getting in my way_


	28. Chapter 28: Belief

Chapter Twenty- Eight: Belief

"_Will you marry me?_"

She stared at him like a complete idiot. Her mouth open, eyes wide, she felt utterly speechless. It was impossible for her to form a word.

"Meredith"

"…I umm I, are you sure?"

"I am sure"

"This isn't too fast?"

"It isn't too fast"

"Are you pregnant?"

"Meredith, you are so cute when you ramble, but Meredith you are the love of my life."

"Oh god here it comes"

"I don't want to spend another day without you, and I know this is complicated but in my heart I know that this baby is mine. The minute you told me you were pregnant I knew it was mine. I like to see us sleeping together at the prom as fate letting us know we were meant to be together. So please make me the happiest man alive and marry me"

Meredith had tears streaming down her face.

"Derek"

"Come on Meredith use your words and give me an answer"

"I can't"

It hit him like a big yellow school bus.

"You can't?"

"I am so sorry Derek. I am not ready for all this, please try and understand"

He stood up

"No I get it"

"Derek please"

"I am going home"

"You are home Derek, you said home is wherever I am"

"No I am going to my trailer I need to think"

"Derek no please don't leave"

"I am not leaving you, I just need some space"

"Derek, please try and understand I truly not even ready to be a mom, but to have to be a wife too. Derek I need to take baby steps and these are both huge steps that I can't take at the same time"

"Forget I even asked Meredith, I will call in the morning"

He walked out the door and shut it behind himself leaving Meredith crying in bed.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

4 HOURS LATER

Meredith heard her front door open and she had this hope that it just may be Derek, but she heard Izzie's voice scream out to her

"Mer are you home?"

"_Sniff _Yeah Izzie _sniff_ I am in my room"

"Meredith are you crying?"

Izzie's footsteps came closer and closer and she opened the door to find Meredith lying in bed crying. She sat down beside Meredith and held her so she could cry on her shoulder.

"Where is Derek?"

"He left"

"Why Meredith?"

"He asked me to marry him"

"Oh Meredith that is…. you said no didn't you"

"I am not ready for this Izzie!"

Her cries were harder and louder. Izzie just rubbed her back and let Meredith let it all out. After about 20 minutes Meredith let out a sigh and lifted her head.

"What if he is really leaving me?"

"Meredith he loves you so much, he would never do that"

"But what if he does?"

"Meredith, Derek is not the kind of person to abandon the mother of his child"

"You know!"

"Cristina and I do yes"

"Who told you?"

"Sloan"

"Oh"

"Meredith everything is going to be okay"

"You can't say that, you don't know that it's true"

"I know its true Meredith"

"But Izzie I am all alone, how do I raise a child alone?"

Izzie grabbed hold of Meredith's hand and wiped the tears from her eyes with her other hand.

"You are not alone Meredith Grey"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few weeks time passed and Meredith is so frustrated being at home in bed. She is confused, and worried, and she hasn't heard from Derek. Izzie, Cristina, George, and Alex are taking shifts taking care of her. Her due date was August 10th but she woke up the morning of July 20th and she knew something wasn't right. She kept having these sharp pains, about 20 minutes apart. She at first thought they could be contractions but she though there was no way she could be having contractions so soon. George brought up her breakfast and while she was eating he could tell something was off.

"Meredith are you feeling okay this morning?"

"Yeah just feeling a little sick, I think I ate too much last night"

"Okay"

"Look I am not too hungry, I am going to take a shower maybe that will make me feel better"

"Alright"

While she was in the shower the pains started getting closer together and much worse. She then knew instantly she was in labor so she quickly got out of the shower and dried off. She threw on some clothes and started walking down the stairs but, she slipped and fell. George heard the noise and came running.

"MEREDITH! What part of bed rest don't you understand"

"The part where I am in labor George"

His eyes grew wide. He ran over to her and carried her off to the car. While they were driving she called Addison.

"Dr. Montgomery?"

"Yes"

"It's Meredith"

"Is everything okay?"

"I think I am in labor"

"Meredith, you would know if you were in labor"

"Okay fine I am in labor George is driving me to the hospital"

"How far apart are your contractions?"

"Um… I think 8 minutes now"

"Now? How long were you in pain before you said anything?"

"A few hours but Addison there is more"

"What is it?"

"I tripped walking down the stairs; you don't think that could hurt my baby do you?"

"Get here as fast as you can; I will have Izzie Stevens waiting in the parking lot with a wheelchair for you"

Meredith was so scared by the tone in Addison's voice

"Okay thank you"

"Just get here fast Meredith"

Meredith hung up her phone and started to cry. George saw how scared she was and sped up driving as quickly and carefully as possible. He wanted what was best for Meredith and the baby.

_Belief_

_Makes things real _

_Makes things feel_

_Feel alright _

_Belief _

_Makes things true _

_Things like you _

_You and I _

_Tonight you will rest in my mind_

_When you came to my defense _

_With a knife in the shape of your mind _

_In the form of your body _

_With the wrath of a god_

_Oh you stood by me _

_Belief _


	29. Chapter 29: God Blessed The Broken Road

Chapter Twenty-Nine: God Blessed The Broken Road

When they got to the hospital Izzie practically ran Meredith up to labor and delivery helped her into a gown and got her sitting in bed.

"Holy crap Izz, I have never seen you move so fast"

"DR. Montgomery's orders"

Addison walked in

"Thanks Stevens I can take it from here"

She examined Meredith to find her fall caused no complications and she was dilated to 9 centimeters already.

"Does that mean it is too late for an epidural?"

Addison looked down.

"I am sorry Meredith you are going to have to do this without any drugs, you water is going to break any minute now and you will be ready to push"

Meredith closed her eyes and tears started to pour out of them. George came to hold her hand and stroke her hair.

"Do you want some ice chips Mer?"

"No thanks George"

"There must be something I can get you"

"No not really"

"Are you sure you don't want that six foot tall, blue-eyed man with perfect hair in here holding your hand"

The tears came down even faster and she nodded her head

"I will find him Meredith"

George left and found Derek within minutes.

"DR. Shepard!"

"O'Malley, can I help you with something"

"No but you can help Meredith with something"

"George, I am not ready to talk to her"

"Well you need to make yourself ready because she is going to give birth to a child that could potentially be yours any minute now"

"She is in labor?"

"Delivery room C"

Derek sprinted off to find her and he stormed into the room to find Meredith crying in bed.

"Why didn't you call?"

"It happened so fast Derek"

"It's okay I am here now"

He sat on the bed and stroked his hand through her soft blonde hair. She cried on his chest a little longer.

"I am so sorry"

"Let's not talk about this right now, let's concentrate on getting this baby here"

Just then a really strong contraction hit. She squeezed his hand with all her strength and he tried to keep her calm once it passed she started to panic.

"Derek I think my water just broke"

Addison came in just at the right time with Izzie behind her

"Okay Meredith are you ready to have this baby?"

She looked up at Derek her eyes full of tears. He nodded his head then helped her sit up. He sat down behind her and took both her hands.

"Feel free to squeeze as hard as you want to"

"Thanks Derek"

"Okay Meredith you can start pushing whenever you are ready"

She took a long deep breath then started to push.

"Hold on Meredith stop"

"What is wrong?"

"The cord is wrapped around the baby's neck"

She started to panic and hyperventilate

"Derek keep her calm!"

"It's okay Meredith, Shhh"

"Alright push again for me Meredith"

She started to push but this huge wave of exhaustion hit her body. It was like nothing she had ever felt before. Her body went limp and her monitor started beeping like crazy, as did the baby's

"Derek they are both going into distress I need to concentrate her enough to get this baby out"

He nodded his head then focused on Meredith

"Baby I know you are tired but you need to push one more time"

"Derek I can't"

"Yes you can Meredith, you can do this. It will be over in a second if you just focus long enough"

She channeled on the strength she had left into one final push, Addison took over from there only when the baby was born he wasn't breathing. Izzie took him over to start CPR

"Why isn't he crying?"

"Meredith we need to focus on you right now, it appears as though you have lost too much blood which is causing you to feel so weak"

"My son, why isn't be crying?"

"DR. Stevens is checking out your son right now Meredith"

Now she was screaming and crying

"Why isn't my baby crying?"

Addison looked up at Derek looking for some help

"Meredith please just calm down"

"No Derek, it's because he is not breathing isn't it?"

The look in her eyes just broke Addison's heart.

"No Meredith he is not…"

Just then Meredith heard the most beautiful sound she had ever heard in her life. Her son let out his first soft cries. Izzie finished cleaning him up while Addison finished taking care of Meredith. She then put the baby in Meredith's arms. Addison and Izzie stepped outside for a minute for Derek and Meredith to have a moment alone with the baby

"Derek he is beautiful"

"He really is"

"Thank you so much for being here for me"

"There is no place I would rather be Meredith, you know that"

"You understand that I do love you Derek"

"Of course I do"

"Good, because this baby deserves to have two parents"

"And he will. I am not going anywhere"

"God I can't get over how much he looks like his Daddy"

Derek looked down at the tiny little baby and noticed that the baby resembled himself.

"Meredith"

"Yeah Derek"

"I am a Daddy aren't I?"

"Yes Derek and I am a Mommy"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A couple hours later the baby had been all checked out and he had no health complications from the birth. He was 6 pounds 4 ounces, which was good since he was so premature. If he had made it full term he would have been a very big baby. Meredith, Derek and Izzie were all in Meredith's room when the little guy started crying again.

"I think he is ready to be fed for the first time Meredith"

"Oh okay"

"Have you decided how you are going to do this?"

"I think nursing him will be the best option"

"Alright then"

Meredith removed the top of her gown and tried to get her baby to latch on but it wasn't working he only cried more.

"Izzie I don't think my son likes me too much"

"Meredith he loves you, you just need to learn how to feed him"

Izzie helped her out a bit but then the baby got the hang of it. When he was done eating she handed him off to Derek to get burped while she buttoned up her gown.

"He really is amazing don't you think?"

"He is a beautiful baby; there is only one problem guys"

"What Izzie?"

"He doesn't have a name yet"

"Oh well Derek and I haven't decided on one yet."

"Okay so then we will just call him baby Grey"

"No Izzie, baby Shepard-Grey"

Derek smiled at Meredith and Izzie left them so they could be alone again

_I think about the years I spent just passing through  
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you  
But you just smile and take my hand  
You've been there you understand  
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true  
Every long lost dream lead me to where you are  
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars  
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms  
This much I know is true  
That God blessed the broken road  
That led me straight to you_


	30. Chapter 30: Amazing Grace

Chapter Thirty: Amazing Grace

About an hour later Izzie came in to check on Meredith, Derek and the baby and found Meredith sleeping in bed and Derek sleeping on the chair holding his son. She quietly turned around to leave them but Derek woke up.

"You can take him to the nursery if you want Izz"

"Oh I am so sorry DR. Shepard I didn't mean to wake you"

"Its fine, here you can take my little guy and I will stay here and wait for mommy to wake up again"

"She is pretty tired"

"Hey do you know the results of her echo?"

"Derek, DR. Burke will be in to speak with you soon"

"Izzie, she almost coded during labor I'm guessing that isn't good"

"Like I said DR. Burke will be in to speak with the both of you soon"

Izzie took the baby and shut the door. She left Derek alone with Meredith and all he could think about were the chances that there was something wrong. Within the next five minutes or so Meredith had stopped snoring so Derek knew she was waking up. He stopped pacing around the room, sat down next to her and gently ran his hand through her hair while she slowly opened her eyes.

"Hey there sleepy head"

He leaned in and kissed her

"Hey yourself"

"You feeling any better"

"A little, still tired"

"That is to be expected, you just gave birth Meredith"

She smiled and then her eyes wandered frantically around the room.

"Relax Mer; he is asleep in the nursery"

"Oh good, you worried me"

"You know we still…"

"Need to name him I know Derek"

"Do you want to name him now?"

"No! I have to be holding him when I name him"

"OK then we will wait for his Aunt Izzie to bring him back in to see us"

"OK"

Another five minutes had passed when DR. Burke came in with Cristina.

"DR. Grey"

"Are you here to tell me I'm dying, because I am really not in the mood"

"Meredith come on that was kind of rude"

"What Derek I am exhausted and in pain and I am not in the mood to find out I have a heart problem"

"Well luckily I have good and bad news"

"Lead with the good news, always good news first"

(I don't know anything about this medical stuff, I am just winging this!)

"Well DR. Grey, your tests and labs came back fine. There was no visible cause for the cardiac episode you had during labor. It was most likely due to the stress and pain your body was in"

Smiles lit up both Meredith and Derek's faces.

"So she doesn't need surgery?"

"She doesn't need surgery"

"But you said there was bad new too…" The smile faded off Meredith's face as she remembered there was bad news too.

"Yes DR. Grey, and the bad news is because your heart had such a long reaction, you will need to go on a course of meds to control your BP for the next month, I strongly recommend that you double the time you are spending on leave"

Tears swelled up in Meredith's eyes and she squeezed Derek's hand tighter.

"But I have already been on bed rest for two months"

"I didn't say bed rest Meredith I just said you need to spend maybe closer to three months away from work"

"But then I would be out for five months! That is too long; I won't be able to finish my intern year"

"We can make arrangements for you to write your intern exam and have your final evaluation Meredith. If you don't take this time off you could put too much stress on your body and it could kill you"

She rested her head back on her pillow and Derek rested his hand on her forehead

"The meds, they won't affect me nursing my son will they?"

"No Meredith, I have lowered the dosage and you will need to take it for a longer period of time; you will be just fine to nurse your son"

"Good, that's good"

Then Izzie opened the door with a screaming baby.

"Oh I am so sorry, but the little guy is hungry"

"That is OK DR. Stevens, DR. Yang and I were just finishing up. So Meredith can you agree to the conditions I have given you?"

"Yes DR. Burke"

"And you will make sure she follows the conditions Derek?"

"Anything to keep my Meredith healthy"

She smiled up at him as Burke and Cristina left and Izzie handed Meredith her little boy. Meredith unbuttoned her gown exposing her breast and held her son close to her body. For the first time Meredith got her baby to latch on without any help.

"Derek look, he is getting the hang of things."

"He is"

She looked down at her baby and gently stroked his soft dark hair. Derek sat on the bed behind Meredith and gently massaged her shoulders.

"OK, name time"

"Name time"

"Meredith do you have anything in mind?"

She sighed, "Well I have only really thought of a middle name for him but I don't know exactly what it is"

"That doesn't make sense Meredith"

She giggled, "Derek I know that your father was a really important person in your life and you lost him when you were very young and I can't imagine how difficult that must have been, and I think that it would only be suiting if you could name your first son after your father"

A tiny tear rolled down Derek's cheek, "Oh Meredith you don't have to do that"

"No I do Derek, so come on, what was your father's name?"

"Michael"

"Alright we have a middle name and a last name then"

"So all we need is a first name"

Meredith looked down at her son and then looked back up at Derek

"Come on Meredith out with it, I know you have one in your mind"

"Nathan"

Derek looked down at the little guy

"Nathan Michael Grey-Shepard"

"I thought we were going with Shepard-Grey"

"Oh well I just thought that…"

He wanted to say that he wanted Grey-Shepard, so that they baby would have the same last name as Meredith once him and Meredith were married but he didn't want to scare her.

"I just thought it sounded better"

"OK then, Nathan Michael Grey-Shepard"

"It's perfect"

Nathan was finally done nursing, Meredith handed him off to Derek to be burped and she buttoned her gown back up. Once Nathan was burped her closed his big blue eyes and put his thumb in his mouth. Meredith held her sleeping son and tear swelled up her eyes again.

"Hey what's with the long face?"

"I am sorry Derek, really just the hormone change"

"It's hard to stop crying, I understand"

"Thank you"

"Well it's my job to understand that"

"No Derek, not for understanding, for staying here, for being here with me the past nine months. I love you so much and I am beyond happy that we are parents."

"I love you too, and I can't wait to start our life together and see where life takes us"

It wasn't going to be easy. Thing had never been easy for these two, and they were only going to get harder. There would be good times; there would be bad times. But they would survive this. Nathan was going to be a big change to their lives but they would adapt to it. Meredith would find time to be a mom and a surgeon, and maybe even a wife one day. She wasn't going to be like Ellis and let the nanny raise her baby she was going to do this the right way, as difficult as it was going to be. Derek knew getting Meredith to be what he wanted going to be difficult but he could do it. He would wait forever for her, but she was the mother of his beautiful baby boy and he is not that person. He would not just walk out of his own child's life the way that Thatcher left Meredith. It was going to be hard, but they were going to make it, because in this case… love was enough.

_Amazing grace_

_How sweet the sound _

_That saved a wretch like me _

_I once was lost _

_But now I'm found _

_Was blind but now I see _

_T'was grace that taught_

_My hear to fear _

_And grace my fears relived_

_How precious did that grace appear _

_The hour I first believed _

**A/N: I was so sad when I finished this story it was such a pleasure to write. Thank-you to everyone who has read it and given me such nice reviews. The epilogue will be up shortly! THANKS AGAIN **


	31. Epilogue: A Real Life Fairytale

Epilogue: A Real Life Fairytale

_You ran around inside my head  
When you passed out, I felt dead  
And I realized you make me live_

On Nathan's first birthday Derek proposed to Meredith again, only this time he got to put the ring on her finger. On June 18 2009, (another year later) they said "I do" and have been happily married since. Burke was Derek's best man and Cristina was Meredith's maid of honor, and little two year old Nathan was the most adorable ring bearer anyone would ever see. The ceremony was small, it was held on the dock out by the lake near what was formerly Derek's trailer. Now it was Derek and Meredith's two story, 5 bedrooms, 5 baths home. After about three months of living in Meredith's mother's house they decided they needed to live somewhere more private. After their wedding, Derek and Meredith waved good-bye to their son and spent two weeks honeymooning in Europe.

_  
And when my world starts to cave in _

_You jump inside and take my hand  
No matter where, you are there  
Will I ever see, what you could see in me? _

_I do, I just believe that we will always be and dream, yeah  
Well, I will never be the sign that we must see, _

_That you and me were meant to be so just believe why we are together_

When Meredith's father found out that she was married and had a child, he was furious that she kept it from him, but the two have a real relationship now and he is trying to make up for leaving her alone with her mother. Meredith is also very close with both her sisters Molly and Lexie. Lexie works at Seattle Grace and she couldn't be happier that she has Meredith around to keep her grounded. Susan Grey is now the mother Meredith never had. She is always there to care for Meredith like she cares for her own daughters. Derek is incredibly proud of his wife for finally letting these people into her life. Oh, and Nathan and Laura are great friends too.

Once Derek and Meredith were engaged Meredith was forced to meet the Shepard's. At first it was the most unbearable thing she had ever experienced but now she loves her in-laws as much as her own family and is so glad they feel the same way about her. Every year for Thanksgiving, Derek, Meredith and Nathan go out to New York to see all the Shepard's. Nathan loves this trip because he gets to see all his cousins who give him so much attention because of how adorable he is.

Nathan's first words were "pwetty ma-ma" he was 10 months old and he still believes that he will never meet a woman as beautiful as his mother. He took his first steps when he was 9 months old and soon enough he could run. He loved to run and play sports. When he grew up he played baseball, soccer, basketball and football.

_  
You are my light _

_You are my star _

_You are my sunshine and my dark  
You are the everything I dreamed about  
You are the guy who stole my heart  
I am the girl you're always smiling for  
We have a love people dream about  
A real life fairytale_

On Nathan's third birthday Meredith discovered she was pregnant once again only this time she couldn't wait to have another child. Nathan was so excited he was going to be a big brother until he found out that his new sibling was going to be a little girl. On April 7, 2011 at 4:01pm Mary Ellis Grey-Shepard entered the world. She was the spitting image of her mother. She looked more like Meredith than Nathan looked like Derek, and from day one they knew she was going to have Meredith's personality too.

Nine months later Meredith was pregnant again, only she was in a traumatic car accident 28 weeks into her pregnancy. Not only did she lose her unborn son but she lost the ability to ever carry children again. She was devastated and went through about three months of severely dangerous depression. She spent most of the three months intoxicated and Derek worried about her now more than ever. He finally got her to see a shrink and she rarely ever drinks now because she is scared she will go back to being that violent drunk she used to be. Her two children are now what she lives for and she can barely forgive herself for putting them through three months of hell, but they will always love their mommy just the same.

_  
I thought that I would be alone  
You caught my eye and I was home  
And I realized that this was love  
I see the world through different eyes  
I look at you by my side  
No matter where, you're always there_

Derek was promoted to chief of surgery when Richard retired and Meredith was the first resident in her year to be given an attending position. She also was lucky enough to be asked to assume Derek's role as head of neurosurgery. Although they both had incredibly time consuming jobs they both promised it would never get in the way of Nathan and Mary.

Life was basically perfect for the Grey-Shepard family for about five years. They had the perfect jobs, they perfect family, perfect house, perfect lifestyle, Meredith thought she was dreaming and one day she would wake up and her life would go back to its miserable ways. But every time she said she was dreaming Derek would respond "If you dreaming, then I am dreaming the same dream, and darling we are never going to wake up"

_  
Will I ever see what you could see in me? _

_I do, I just believe that we will always be and dream, yeah  
Well, I will never be the side that you will see, _

_That you and me were meant to be so just believe why we are together_

However tragedy struck the family once again. On Derek's 45th birthday he got a call from his mother. She was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer and only had another 3 to 6 months to live. As much as they loved their careers family came first. Both Derek and Meredith took a leave of absence from the hospital, packed up their stuff, took the kids and headed to New York to spend as much time as possible with Catherine Shepard as possible before she passed. Their leave of absence lasted 4 months and 28 days; on October 7, 2016 at 8:47 am Catherine Shepard passed away. She was 80 years old and was surrounded by her children as she passed. His mother's death was hard on him, but with Meredith and the kids by his side Derek would make it past the roadblock.

_  
You are my light_

_You are my star  
You are my sunshine and my dark  
You are the everything I dreamed about  
You are the guy who stole my heart  
I am the girl you're always smiling for  
We have a love people dream about  
Dream with me, make me believe that this is a real life fairytale_

The kids grew up to fast for Meredith and Derek's likes. After a long heated argument with his parents, Nathan went of to New York to play for the Yankees when he graduated high school. He also was attending NYU on a baseball scholarship; he was going to get a degree in sports medicine so when he retired from playing professional baseball he could be a sports doctor. He didn't want to be a surgeon like his parents. He married when he was 26 years old. The second he laid eyes on Emily Lewis he was done, just like his father when he first laid eyes on Meredith that night in the bar. Nathan and Emily had three children, twins Derek and Michael and a little girl named Elizabeth. They lived in a beautiful home near Central Park and lived a life very similar to the life that Meredith and Derek had.

When Mary turned 16 years old, she was the one thing that every single boy in her high school couldn't keep their mind off of. She looked exactly like her mother, the soft blonde hair, piercing green eyes, a cute little nose, and a laugh and a smile that took everyone's breath away. When she started to develop and interest in boys her father and brother instantly became incredibly protective of her. However like her mother, she always seemed to fall for the wrong guy. She has dated a million and one of your typical jock captain of whatever team and was only in the relationship for what he would get out of it. It wasn't until she was eighteen years old when she noticed that shy guy who had been admiring her from afar since they were five years old. Gavin Macleod had been in love with Mary for so long and the day she noticed him was the best day of his life. They married five years later when they were 23, and they had four children, Meredith, Matthew, Catherine and Christopher. Emily went to Dartmouth just like her mom and grew up to be another gifted, brilliant neurosurgeon at Seattle Grace.

They were a perfectly happy family and everyone was perfectly happy that things stayed that way.

_You are my light_

_You are my star  
You are my sunshine, and my dark  
You are the everything I dreamed about  
You are the guy who stole my heart  
I am the girl you're always smiling for  
We have a love people dream about  
A real life fairytale  
A real life fairytale  
A real life fairytale_

**THE END! **


End file.
